Time Makes Us Bolder
by raelee514
Summary: A story about finding yourself, heartbreak and finding love. Lance/Allura with a side of Keith.  Rating it M, because of Lance.   Title taken & paraphrased from a line from Stevie Nicks' Landslide.
1. Chapter 1  Bursting Bubbles

_**Notes: **_This is a Birthday Fic for the lovely Harmony and the lovely Melody. :-) I hope they both love it! The deadline is their birthday, March 12th, I will not make it. LOL. So, yay, more fic for them! Woohoo!

I do not own anything Voltron, that is WEP.

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><p>1. Bursting Bubbles<p>

Allura was immune to annoyance. Badly behaved nobles with their horrible dancing and their worse breath. Nothing could get through the armor of how happy she felt. All of because of what was going to happen at the end of the night. However, Allura sighed in relief when her dance ended with her current dance partner, The Duke of W'Thy of the Planet Ebb, a fat, sweaty, man in his thirties. He could dance, so her toes had been saved, but his breath and body oder had been atrocious, it reminded her bad milk. She was floating though, on a cloud of happy she'd created for herself. Nothing couldn't penetrate her inner happiness, even if foul smells could still penetrate her nose. She curtsied him her thankfulness for the dance and said so out loud. A hand touched her arm immediately, she turned and was relieved to find Lance there for the next dance, adding to the feeling that she floating on a bubble.

The music started and she was in strong, able hands. Lance wasn't the most graceful dancer, unlike Keith who moved with precision and grace to the music across the floor. He made Allura feel as if she was a wave moving across a lake. Lance wasn't clumsy, not at all, he never stepped on her toes, but with him she felt as if dancing held secrets she hadn't yet figured out when she was in his arms. He was always surprising her with something...

"Hey, sweetheart," Lance said as he spun her onto the dance floor in a move that was not normal Arusian Ballroom decorum, for instance, spinning her away from him, only to spin her back een faster. Allura laughed as she followed his lead. "I'm wonderful."

"I've noticed, never seen you smile so much at one of these frilly frou-frou parties before. Is it because you have that huge table of presents waiting for you and have legally turned into an Arusian adult. Does this mean you can tell Nanny to stop threatening to spank your a-"

"Lance!" Allura chastised, blushing and she shook her head. "No, it's not the presents, or the legal adulthood, because Nanny will probably threaten to spank me until I turn 100 years old."

Lance chuckled. "Nanny will be what by then 8,000 years ancient?"

Allura hit him with her hand on his arm, giggling. "Stop it."

"Then why the million watt smile while you dance with smarmy pigs and get your toes stomped on by noble assholes?"

Allura shook her head at Lance, he'd never change and she wouldn't want him to. He hated all the pomp and circumstance. He railed the hardest at Coran and Nanny making noise about her finding a man to marry amongst the nobles invited to any Ball on Arus. He'd been especially loud about this Ball, her eighteenth birthday. Secretly she thanked him, more than he'd ever know. Allura hoped it meant when she made her choice clear, he'd be in her corner, their corner and help the two of them make it happen.

"I've made a very important choice," Allura said, unable to stop her smile from growing into a even bigger grin. "I believe tonight, after the Ball, the rest of my life will begin."

"The rest of your life will begin?" Lance repeated.

"Yes, the rest of my life will truly begin. Everything will begin to really start, everything will be perfect. And, not even Coran and Nanny could possibly argue with my choice, Lance."

"Allura?" Lance said, his voice sounding serious, which sounded odd to her ears. Lance never sounded serious, unless he was arguing battle strategies with Keith.

"What?" she asked.

"Keith..."

The Castle alarm klaxons went off, blaring and screeching, a shock to everyone in the ballrom after the dulcet tones of Arusian classical string music. Allura and Lance stopped dancing and ran out of the nearest door, toward the control room where they met up with Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Coran and Nanny coming in a moment after.

Coran and Pidge were at the computer controls. Allura went to stand next Keith, she stared at the screens in horror as Lotor and his troops enter her planets atmosphere. She should've known he do this, that he'd attack the night of her birthday and try to ruin it. Only he couldn't, not even Lotor could ruin this night, _not this night_. Tonight she was going to tell Keith she loved him and she knew he had deep feelings for her too. His actions had spoken louder than any words. Allura turned around and started heading for the door, she had to start getting out of her dress, she had hurry into her flight uniform.

"Where do you think you are going?" Nanny yelled.

"I need to get out this dress, we're going to have to deploy, Nanny," Allura said.

"No, no, you will not be fighting on your eighteenth birthday. You have Princes and Lords to meet, to dance with..."

"Ball is over, Nanny," Lance spat out.

"She is the Crown Princess, it is her birthday, she should not be fighting!" Nanny yelled.

Allura watched as Lance stepped closer to Nanny and looked ready to yell something else, but Keith stepped between them. "Stand down," he shouted to Lance. "Go out ahead of me, Hunk go with him. Pidge take charge of Castle defenses until Allura is ready to go out."

The three of them went into action.

"No, no I won't allow it," Nanny yelled, ever stubborn.

Allura gritted her teeth.

Keith shot her a look, their eyes met and she felt a rush of strength rush her, she was okay. She could stand against Nanny, and not feel guilty for disappointing her. Too much, anyway. Allura knew what was best for her planet, even if it hurt her to worry Nanny so much it had to be done. Allura nodded and continued on her path to get out of her ball gown.

"No," Nanny cried. "Coran."

Coran shook his head. "Nanny, I'm afraid I can't argue with Allura's decision to fight."

Keith nodded. "I know you wish to protect her, and I know you were hoping she'd find a man she'd think she could marry tonight at the Ball, Nanny but those things aren't in the cards right now. It's a fantasy. Arus is in danger, at every moment. Lotor is giving his idea of a birthday present, and we have to stop him. And we need Allura do it. She's strong and brave and she does it for her people. It's more of an asset to Arus that Allura fights for them rather than dances and looks for a husband." Keith finished and then he talked into the device on his right wrist. "Pidge, hand over control, and get in your lion, I'm heading out. Allura, head out as fast as you can. Lance, what are you seeing out there?"

Allura jumped when Keith spoke to her via her communication device. She'd loitered outside the door, thinking it'd just be for a second. She wanted to hear what he'd say, but now she felt ashamed. She'd let her feelings for him and need to hear him speak about her, stop her from doing what was right. Keith called her brave, he called her correct to fight, and said it was better for to do something proactive for her planet than worry about marriage and dancing. Shamefaced, Allura ran faster than she ever had before, to the room where she changed into her flight suit, faster than she knew she could.

~~.~~

The battle had been longer than most. Lotor had tricked them into separating the lions and then tried to board Blue lion. His birthday present to her was to take her with him to Doom and make her his wife. Allura shuddered again at the thought. He hadn't stood a chance. Keith and Lance had gotten to her, they both fought viciously, and they kept her focused. Their were times when she thought she couldn't stand the bombardment any longer and what Lotor wanted would happen. She'd crash, but she'd stayed in the air, fighting and the whole team had united. The five of them formed Voltron and faced down the most unsavory of Robeast. It'd been appalling to look with an oblong, lopsided face. Worse than that there had been evil its eyes. However they had found the beast Haggar had transformed it hadn't been innocent when it had been made Doom's victim, Allura had felt it as she fired bombs into its eye sockets on Keith's commands. It was the hardship and the adrenaline that made them all not realize Lance had been hurt. Allura was sure of it, they hadn't know that there was even a thing wrong until he hadn't walked into the control room with them all. He was usually the first there, even before Keith sometimes, ready to celebrate a battle won.

Pidge and Hunk were already talking about their best moves during the battle, bragging about how they'd done this or that. Counting how many times who saved who, pretending they were keeping score of who owed who what...Allura enjoyed the laughter, it brought her back to the fact it was her birthday and she was going to get her birthday wish before the night was over.

She had turned to talk to Keith, only to find him staring at the door, fingernails between his teeth. It was his extreme look of worry, the one he got when he thought they were really against a wall and there were limited options. It was strange to see it after a battle, that though it'd been hard was won at last. "Keith?" she said, walking over to him and touching his arm.

"Where the hell is he?"

It'd been then that it hit her that Lance was missing, which she felt ashamed about, he was such a big presence, how had she missed it. He would've been the first to grab her up by her waist and swing her in circle and tell her she kicked butt. No one had said a thing about it. She looked toward the door too, she heard her heart in her ears. "I don't..." she started but Keith pushed the button for chutes down the lions and swung down number two before she could finish.

Pidge was at the computer controls. "Bringing up Red Lion's internal censors...he's in there."

Hunk hit a button. "Lance, dude, you playing possum, cause Keith's coming your way, he'll be mighty ticked if you're just sitting there twiddling your thumbs?"

It happened quickly after that, much like the battle. Keith came on shouting about blood and Lance being unconscious. Gorma was called and before Allura knew it they were all in the waiting room in the medical wing. Keith hadn't sat down in the twenty minutes they'd been waiting, Allura stood up but Pidge grabbed her by her wrist.

"He's got to pace it out," he said.

Allura looked down at Pidge, saw the wisdom in his green eyes and that he knew. He understood something she didn't. She did know Keith took every injury his team took personally. They got hurt it was like he bled to, he would be training them extra hard once Lance was flight ready, she could see it already. Keith always wanted to make sure they were ready, that they were at the top of their game and that no one ever got harmed under his command. His heart was huge, she watched him pace, feeling his worry and started to get more worried herself.

But Gorma had said it looked like a few bruised ribs, and a bad knock to the head. They'd check it out, make sure he wasn't bleeding internally and then let them all know, but he expected Lance to wake up soon and be perfectly fine. She wondered if Keith heard it over his own inner monologuing berating himself for allowing a teammate to be injured.

"Keith, Gorma expects him to be fine?"

"Or, a rib could have punctured his lung," Keith muttered.

"Come on, Keith, don't go scaring the Princess," Hunk said, standing up and walking in front of him. "Maybe it is time for you to sit down."

Keith just turned around from the wall Hunk presented and continued to pace. Allura sighed, she hadn't even thought of that, but she wouldn't let what ifs run through her head. It was pointless to worry so much, plus Lance had been breathing fine. She'd grabbed his hand for a moment as they'd rolled him through the control room on the stretcher. It'd been warm, his palm calloused, he'd been breathing fine. She was about to say it out loud, unsure if it was for herself or for Keith, when Dr. Gorma walked into the room.

"He's fine, but I'm keeping overnight anyway."

"If he's fine why does he need to stay over night?" Keith questioned.

"His blood pressure is a little high, but I'm not too worried about it. Also, he has one of the worst concussions I've seen you boys manage to get yet, I want to keep an eye on him. But he's awake now, flirting with the nurse, so I say he's fine."

Hunk let out a chuckle. "Yep, he's fine."

"I want to see him," Keith barked.

"Of course, Commander," Gorma said. "Follow me."

"Tell him to try to behave, Chief," Hunk called out.

"Yeah, and tell him I out shot him out there tonight five to one," Pidge shouted as Keith turned a corner.

Allura sat back in the seat, she was going to wait for Keith to come out. In her flight suit, in the hospital waiting room. It hadn't been where, nor how, she planned to tell him how she felt and how she surmised he felt. It wasn't where she planned to start the rest of her life, to begin her life as she'd always envisioned it as being. A Princess who found real true love, with a true Prince. Not someone who merely carried the title. The place didn't matter, the scenery wasn't important. It was him and her, it didn't matter where. Her heart pounded in her chest, the anticipation started to buoy her feelings again, she felt a smiling turning up the corners of her mouth.

"Princess, are you coming?" Hunk asked, as he opened the door that led out of the medical wing.

"I'm going to wait for Keith," Allura said, trying not to let her smile show, Lance was still hurt after all.

Hunk nodded. "Suit yourself, it might be awhile."

"That is okay, I can wait," she said.

"Goodnight, then," he said. "You did a great job out there tonight."

"You really did," Pidge added. "Once Lance is in the all clear, he and Keith will tell you too."

She blushed, thinking about everything she and Keith would soon be discussing. "Thank you, I was able to do it because I knew you four were right behind me."

Hunk and Pidge nodded as they left the room. Allura got up and went to the table with all the magazines, she browsed through them and picked one on wedding gowns with the vision of her dream coming true in her head. Then she curled up on a chair in the room facing the door Keith would exit out of, so she wouldn't miss him.

~~.~~

A strong hand on her shoulder was shaking her, she wasn't in her bed. She'd been asleep, or possibly unconscious, she didn't recognize the smell or the feel of her surroundings. Allura moved, pushing, to fight off whoever was touching her. Instead of facing an enemy when she opened her eyes, she was staring in the dark warmth of Keith eyes and she blinked realizing she had her nails digging into his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, you startled me."

Keith gave her a lopsided grin, it was tired and lasted briefly but she smiled back brightly at him nonetheless. She remembered now where she was, and what was going. "How is Lance?"

"He's snoring, loudly, and he told me to tell you, you kicked ass today."

Allura nodded, pleased, but she cared more that he was okay. "I'm glad he's okay."

"The nurses told me you were asleep out here, Allura. You should go to bed, it's late."

"I was waiting for you," Allura said, sitting up straighter. "I need to talk to you, it's very important, Keith."

Keith ran a hand over his face, he looked back toward where Lance's room most likely was, then around the waiting area. "This isn't a very good place to have a talk, Allura. It can wait until morning can't it?"

"No," Allura said and she stood up, she felt her heart starting to pound. It had to be tonight, she had to get it out tonight because that was the decision she had made. She wasn't going to turn back on the decision because the plan hadn't gone perfectly. So what if they weren't still in their fancy ball attire. It was okay they weren't walking in the garden, fresh from the last dance of the evening. She would have preferred Lotor not attacking, but he had and they'd stopped him. Lance was on the mend...this was it. It was time. Later than she planned and she probably looked a mess, Keith was tired and still looked worried but none of that mattered.

"What is it?"

"Sit, please sit," Allura asked, walking over to the lone sofa in the waiting room. As they sat down, wires creaked and it was rather uncomfortable but Allura didn't care. Keith was holding her hand, his warm gaze was locked with hers. She had his full attention, she felt heat rising to her cheeks. "I think you are a wonderful man Keith. You are intelligent but not only that you have a wisdom that cannot come from age, or experience, it something that is granted at birth. It's a way of thinking and knowing, seeing things that is rare among people. But you're so blessed, and you care so much about everyone you consider family. You've been torturing yourself all night over Lance..."

Keith's eyes shifted at Lance's name toward the hall, he'd rushed down before, on Dr. Gorma's heels. "Thank you, Allura..." he said, sounding confused.

"What I'm trying to say is... I have to be wed, it's tradition, it's even law, though I wish to change it. Only I cannot until I am Queen, which puts me in a horrible position. I've met men of no grace, no nobility, no dignity, and no intelligence all of whom have royal blood or a sheet of paper giving them a title that elevates them above others. Other's like you who are far more Kingly than they. I know you care deeply about me Keith, and I care deeply about you, so I'm really hoping you'll be my Prince Consort. There is no way Coran or Nanny would say no to you, either. You are the leader of the Voltron Force, an honored Garrison soldier and they know you would die for me and for Arus. I hope you know I would die to rescue you, honor you too..."

Keith was staring at her, face blank, eyes wide. "Die... Prince... Kingly?"

Allura smiled, she knew she'd laid so much on the table. She hoped maybe her next step would make it a bit of easier for him to comprehend. She wished for them to be together, to stop walking around their feelings. She was so tired of pretending her heart wasn't beating for him, only for him. She moved forward and pressed her lips against his.

With her lips pressed against Keith, Allura held her breath. His hands immediately came up and grabbed her shoulders but instead of pulling her in closer he pushed her away. "Allura..."

"Keith we can be together. I'm eighteen now, we don't have too..."

"Allura, I...this is my fault. I, I let this go to far. I thought you'd out grow it and come to realize that I'm not the man for you."

"But you are the man for me," Allura said, her heart pounding as her ears heard what she had said, tears hurt her eyes but she blinked. Crying wasn't an option, this wasn't over yet. "I don't understand."

Keith bowed his head, he looked ashamed and contrite. "I hope you will someday forgive me, Princess. I knew of your crush, I tried to do all I could to not encourage it."

"No, never, you would never be so ungentlemanly as to lead me on, not when you thought we couldn't be together," Allura said.

Keith shook his head. "Allura, I love you deeply and dearly. I feel a connection with you, that I have rarely felt with anyone else in my life. I believe that their people who come into, and out lives for reasons. I do. You and I have met to be something important to the other, but husband and wife, that is not it. It is my fault this has come to this moment, which could have been avoided, which should'v been avoided, which I am still trying to avoid," Keith sighed. "Allura, I'm gay."

Tears fell from her eyes, she couldn't stop them now, Keith reached out with his hand to dry them but then pulled back and the action provoked a sob from inside her chest. She felt confused and she didn't understand. "Gay? But, you've never brought a man back to the Castle."

"No, I haven't. I have my reasons, Princess. But I am gay, very much so, I only like men."

"Lance likes both," Allura said, trying to force her voice not to tremble, as she grabbed Keith's collar, trying to grasp at straws.

"Allura, I'm so sorry," Keith said, his voice full of emotion. Allura heard it, despite her own despair, the guilt he felt at doing this to her. Suddenly she hated him, because he could have told her this years ago. He should have told her this from the first day. Why hadn't he ever told her? Why had her let her go on believing she had a chance with him. He knew about her crush.

How obvious and pathetic had she seemed? She stood up, Keith was right behind her. "Let me walk you to your room," he said.

"No. I can get there myself," she said.

"Wait, while I arrange for a guard to come to be..."

"I said no, I will walk to my room on my own," Allura snapped, turning to face him. He blanched and looked away. "I would really like no one to see me right now," she said.

There was silence until Keith nodded. "I understand, go ahead. We can talk later."

~~.~~

Allura went straight to her bath and ran water into the tub. The sound of the water filling the tub usually helped to calm her after a fight with Coran, or Nanny. Or after a Battle. After any kind of stress. She filled it with bubbles, scented with the soft floral scent of the Arusian Starflower, a small flower that bloomed at night under the light of the moons.

Allura found she couldn't cry anymore, the tears that had spilled as her heartache was triggered had been fresh, they'd been more out of fear than anything else. _This couldn't be happening_, what he is saying isn't true. Keith had been sincere, he'd been guilty and he'd looked ashamed.

She'd had a burst of solid fiery angry at him but now, all she felt was numb. Allura stepped into the warm water and the softly popping bubbles of the bath, she breathed in the scent of the starflower. It was said to be soothing. Allura wondered if she could be soothed.

Her mind was a jumble of her own words, her fantasies, and of all the rescues. All the times Keith bled for her, pulled off miraculous feats of strength and intelligence for her and her planet. She swallowed over the lump in her throat. They'd been linked psychically more than once, he'd gone into a world of dreams, she'd heard his sorrow in her mind after a fight and run to him knowing he was right.

As she thought about it all, the rest of the team started to join the images. All the times it was Pidge bleeding from saving her. Hunk dodging in front of her in Yellow taking fire meant for her that she wouldn't have been able to handle. Then came all the times it was Lance, all the times he went beyond what was needed because she'd been ill, or Arus in danger, or Lotor had threatened her...

She started to cry as she saw it all in her mind's eye.

Had she read more into Keith's actions? Had her feelings caused her to create things that were never there. The tears started to fly again, she wished she could sink under the water and it would take away the hurt in her heart, in her soul. Keith always took away the hurt. If she was hurt, he asked about her, if she was sad he took the time to talk with her. Keith listened to her worries about being a good leader for Arus. Keith would look at her, and she'd see concern and love in his eyes. He cared. She knew he cared.

The word sister came to her mind. Keith never uttered it in his speech to her about being gay. He never said it at all, he said he cared about her of course, more than she knew. She felt he still cared. She felt his love, the connection he spoke about and it flooded her now and gave her the definition of sister and family.

Allura sunk under the water for a long moment.

When she came up she let herself bawl because she'd fallen for a guy who'd given his heart to her as a brother and nothing more. Allura felt stupid, awkward and the numbness was starting to seep in again even as she cried.


	2. Chapter 2 Winging It

2. Winging It...

Lance fought to swallow, his throat felt so dry it felt it was threatening to seal together. He knew before he opened his eyes from the amount of pain in his head that he was in the hospital wing of the Castle of Lions. He hated the damn place, he didn't think a Castle should have a hospital wing yet it was the only place to put a hospital for the people of Arus, and the best place for them the so-called saviors. Opening his eyes, he glanced his room for the water he knew would be around. He saw Keith, chin to his chest, hair in his face looking like crap warmed over sitting too close his bed, asleep. It wasn't a surprise. He sat up, groaning, damn he was bruised up but it didn't feel like he'd broken any ribs this time. Reaching over he found his finger tips were just short of the water pitcher, and he frowned and stretched. Pain shot through him, but it was livable, however he hissed a bit as he grabbed the handle of the pitcher and Keith shot awake.

"You look like shit," Lance said, grabbing a white plastic cup from the table on the other side of his bed and filling it water. Damn his throat felt like the desert. He swallowed down the water and filled the cup again.

Keith ran his hand over his face, he glanced at his watch. "Been here all night."

"That was stupid."

"How did you get hurt?" Keith asked.

Lance poured himself a third glass, then pushed the pitcher away and sipped at it as he tried to remember what exactly had happened. "I, uh...don't know. We won right?"

Keith rolled his eyes.

"Awesome. Allura..." Lance stopped short, the memory of her smiling up at him telling him without telling him she was going to tell Keith she was in love with him. "Shit, Allura's going to tell you she loves..."

Keith looked away, hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"Damn it, Keith. I've told you and I've fucking told you to tell her you're gayer than a peacock living on a rainbow!"

"A peacock..."

"Keith, what happened?"

Keith threw up his hands. "It was awful, she...asked me to marry her and while I was trying to figure out what to say she kissed me."

"Fuck," Lance looked up at the ceiling because he didn't want to look at Keith right now. "Why the hell didn't you just tell her, two years ago? Or, when it was obvious she had a crush on you, or when it obvious the crush wasn't going away."

"I didn't want to hurt her."

"Classic Keith, really great job there. How hurt was she when you pushed her away and said you loved her like a sister?" Lance pinned him then with his eyes.

Keith looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole but he met Lance's eyes. "I didn't mention the sister part."

"Wow, suddenly you're so smart."

"She cried, she kept trying to deny it...then she got mad and wouldn't let me walk her back to her room or arrange for anyone else to go with her," Keith shook his head, looking guilty.

Lance snorted. "She can get to her room on her own, Keith. Over a heart that didn't need to be so broken..."

Keith sighed. "You know it's not like I planned this, Lance. Then it just got... I thought she'd get over me. I never encouraged it."

"Yeah, cause you know with the fighting Lotor, getting almost cut in two and almost dying of blood loss and laser shock. Then having some sort of acid trip Vulcan mind meld mind trip with her, to save her from yet another spell of Haggar's. And all those other times you fought for her honor, and saved the day for the Arus..."

"Right, and you never did anything? You never almost died, facing off with Lotor more than once? On Lyra, On Tyrus? You never didn't do anything at all?"

"She only saw you, Keith. Only saw FUCKING YOU!"

It felt like it was echoing in the room after he shouted it. Lance busied himself by staring into the cup he was holding, he couldn't look at Keith. He was pissed off, more than he maybe had a right to be. Protecting Allura wasn't his job, it belonged to Coran, Nanny and...the guy who screwed it the fuck up. He groaned, his head hurt and his he was jealous as hell of Keith, which was stupid. Jealous of the gay guy, he'd never thought he'd be in this position.

"At first, when I realized she had a crush on me. In the beginning and then Hunk brought up and I saw your face. I saw you're eyes roll, and your jaw clench. It bugged you she was looking at me and not you... I was, I hadn't... I was mad at you still."

"What are you saying?" Lance muttered

"I didn't say anything those first couple of months because I liked that you were jealous."

Lance looked up at Keith. "Let me get this straight? You let the Princess have an on-going crush on you because you were still pissed off I'd dumped you six months before we found ourselves in the Denubian?"

"I said it only started out that way, then I thought she'd get over it... and you know it's not like I realized your interest in her was more than..."

"Don't go there Keith," Lance snapped.

"Look, I just want to say that..."

"Do you want to talk about why you slept here all night because I bumped my head."

Keith shut his mouth. He stood up and walked to the door. "I'm getting Gorma to check on you."

"Fine." Lance said.

"Do you..."

"What Keith? What? You want to know if I think she'll forgive you?"

"Will you?"

Lance laughed, and shot Keith a glare, he was not close to ready to let his friend off the hook. "Get Gorma. I want out of here. And I didn't break anything."

~~.~~

Lance walked into the control room a few hours later to Nanny screeching. His head had started to stop throbbing but one second of her screeching and his heart was pulsing in his temples again. Grimacing against the onslaught he walked forward listening.

"I cannot believe this, how have you let this happen, you should have said yes, you fool. You could do no better than Princess Allura. So she isn't a man, she's better than a man, she's, she's my Crown Princess...she's Allura and now we don't know where she is!"

Lance glanced at Hunk over Nanny's head, he wasn't in the mood to even think of helping Keith deal with an irate or irrational Nanny. "Allura's missing?" he mouthed.

"Haven't been able to find her all morning."

Coran cleared his throat. "Keith should have informed us of what happened immediately after it happened."

"I was, Lance was in the hospital and Allura wanted to left alone. I felt it was best to concede to her wishes on that considering..."

"You broke her heart, you broke her beautiful young fresh innocent heart!" Nanny shouted and turned from Keith and poked Coran in his stomach. "I've told you. I have said often and clearly that allowing her to spend time with these, these ruffians, these uncouth civilians of no breeding it would harm her. And you see, you see what has happened. She's been shattered and now, now I can't even find her to help her to get over this... this..." Nanny turned and looked at Keith. "This beast."

Lance snickered, he couldn't help it. It was hysterical, out of all of them Keith was the one she never batted a lash about. She'd marked him as a gay from the moment she stepped foot into the Castle. Pidge she didn't see as a threat either, she let Keith and Pidge walk in and out of Allura's bedroom as if it was the recreation room. Keith of course never actually used the privilege, unlike Pidge much to Allura's dismay. Lance and Hunk on the other hand were lucky if they managed fifteen minutes alone with Allura, without a maid, guard or Nanny herself showing up with a scowl.

He agreed with Nanny that Keith had hurt Allura unnecessarily, though the idea he should have said yes anyway despite being gay was crazy to him. "Where has everyone looked?" he asked.

"We've looked everywhere," Nanny yelled, looking at him. "And don't give me that cocksure smile of yours, young man. You should have stopped this one from breaking her heart!"

Lance nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Nanny opened her mouth but she closed her again, his response must have thrown her. "Oh...well.. uh..." she turned to Keith. "I do realize you didn't mean to hurt her, why you've never told her..." Nanny sighed and walked away. "I'm checking her suite again."

Lance walked over to the control panel to the main computer system. Pidge and Hunk were right behind him and he could feel both Coran and Keith's eyes on the back of his neck. He pushed a few buttons and brought up the visual of Blue Lion's cockpit up the main computer. Allura was in full view, asleep in the cockpit chair in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Lance's throat closed up, because he could see path tears had left on her cheeks. It was obvious from her positing she'd been sitting there, her knees up to her chin, hugging herself and crying for who knew how long until she fell asleep. He ground his back teeth together, hit the button brought up the number four chute. "I'll get her, Hunk let Nanny we found her but don't tell her where. Tell her it'll take me awhile to bring her back."

Hunk nodded and walked off after Nanny. Pidge looked between Lance and Keith, his eyes almost perfectly round behind his glasses. Round and full of thought and concern. "This is going to be okay, right?"

Lance shrugged. "It's up to her isn't it, Pidge?" he said. "Keith screwed up, no taking it back now. Now it's Allura's call if she forgives him."

Pidge grabbed Lance by the wrist, his green eyes narrowed now and sharp. "Not who I'm worried about forgiving him, Lance?"

Lance shook his head, pulled his hand away. "I'm pissed. I told him, I told this fucking week to tell her."

"He thought she'd get over him?"

"Did you really think that would happen?"

"No. Keith's kind of naive sometimes about relationship stuff I think," Pidge said.

Lance laughed. "That and I think he really underestimated the strength of the crush in these adrenaline fueled circumstances."

"Huh," Pidge said. "Never thought of it that way..."

Lance shrugged. "I'm going to get her, talk with her. Take her image down, will you. No peeking or listening in, okay?"

Pidge looked at him, his expression showing just how insulted he was Lance even insinuated he would think about listening in.

"Sorry, sorry, don't try to kill me in my sleep," Lance said and ignoring his pounding head, thanks to Nanny's lovely vocal tone, he went to jump into the chute that lead down to Blue Lion.

"Lance," Keith's voice stopped him from taking the leap and he cursed himself for not being able to ignore Keith's voice. But Keith was his commanding officer, it was an instinct to respond to his voice. If he didn't it could be life or death at any moment. Right now, though, he really didn't want to talk to Keith. He'd already said all he had to say. "Lance?" Keith said again, because Lance hadn't made a move. Keith wanted him to turn around.

"What?" Lance asked, not turning around.

"What...what are you going to say to her?" Keith stammered out and Lance really didn't think that was what Keith had meant to say.

Lance didn't know, he had no idea what he was going to do when he got into the lion's cockpit. When he woke her up and found himself staring into her eyes. Half the time he found himself locked in her gaze he ended up saying the stupidest things to ever come out of his mouth. It was no wonder she'd found Keith more attractive. Lance almost snorted in self-deprecating laughter for a minute, but shook it off mentally, he turned then and looked at Keith briefly and gave him a cocky smile. "Going to wing it, Kogane," he said, before turning and jumping.

~~.~~

Lance stopped the shuttle before it went all the way to Blue Lion. He climbed out and walked over, closer to the lion taking very notice to the large lake size aquarium he had around him. Lance wanted to enter the cockpit as silently as he could, he didn't want to startle Allura wake. The last time he'd done that, he'd gotten kneed in the groin. While Lance happy to know the next time Lotor did try to grab her, he'd get a bony knee to his boys, it wasn't an experience he was about to have again. Just before he was about to open the door, that would allow him to climb up into the Lion from where he was a voice roared into his head.

_You cannot enter, not yet. Give them longer._

Lance winced, Red was loud, always so loud. It made sense in flight with all the mechanics and engines, all the wind sheer and a million other elements, let alone lasers, torpedoes, Robeasts. He'd never had Red speak to him while on the ground, and never while his head was throbbing. "Shhh," he snapped back. "Do you have an indoor voice, why am I talking out loud?" Lance rolled his eyes at himself.

_I do. I am sorry, I sense your pain now. Blue can help alleviate the pain once you enter, but not yet._

_What are you talking about_? Lance asked.

_She came to Blue this morning crying, angry, confused. The Princess is upset. Blue is helping her to see this is the way of things, she is offering the Princess counsel and opening her mind to things that before this heartbreak she was not ready to understand._

Lance nodded, turned and leaned against the tubing that the shuttle used to go back and forth toward the Lion. He closed his eyes and found himself unable to not ask the question. _Is she okay?_

Red laughed at him. It hurt his head. Lance shook his head, smiling wryly. _Okay, okay, fine. I deserve that, but could we remember the headache._

_Don't ask stupid questions._

_Is wondering how much longer a stupid question?_

_It will be over soon._

_What is soon in Lion time?_

_That is good question to ponder._

Lance grinned and waited, twenty minutes he heard Red in his head giving him the go ahead, along with the fact that Allura knew he was coming up. Lance shook his head a bit, but at least this way he could avoid the danger waking her up unexpectedly presented. Soon he popped his head into the cockpit and saw Allura sitting facing the hatch, waiting for him, her face and eyes sad. She looked older, he thought, and he felt an urge to sent his fist through Keith's skull.

"Blue says to come in and stand still for a moment," she said. "She'll take away your headache."

Lance climbed in completely and stood still. His temples throbbed, then it felt almost as if someone daubed a soft, wet, cool washcloth across his head and the pain dulled, then vanished.

Allura looked at him, a small smile on her face for flicker of a second. "Blue says that now the medicine is working again, Nanny does have quiet a cacophonous voice. She's sorry she cannot take it completely away..." Allura sighed.

"Hey, bringing it back to the meds Gorma gave me working is good enough. How about you, Blue help you?"

"She can't do anything for broken hearts," Allura said, looking down at her hands. "Or, feeling foolish. I took a bath last night..."

_She took a bath...focus McClain._

"I figured out a few things," Allura finished.

Lance waited, because he didn't know what to say, he figured listening was the best course of action. He stepped forward, though and sat down next to her on the cockpit, there wasn't much room but he was skinny and she was tiny. They fit together, on the seat.

"I was thinking about all the times he went beyond what was needed of him, to fight Lotor, rescue me, help me, save Arus... I was so hurt and angry. I was in the water, I would be sad, angry and then numb. It would happen when I was numb... not thinking of anything clearly at all, my mind after so much crying and pain would clear. I realized it was all me making things more than they were... Pidge has bled for me. Hunk's almost gotten shot out of the sky how many times? And you..." Allura's voice broke. "You've fought Lotor a time or two yourself. Because you never landed almost dead, I shouldn't count it. I was so unfair, so silly, so wrong to think Keith's actions meant more than the rest of you. You all would die for this planet, for me, for each other."

You mean a hell of a lot..."

"Like a sister I know," Allura sighed.

_to me_, Lance finished mentally. "Yeah, I know."

"Blue said that for Keith choose me as family is... the highest honor. Keith doesn't let many that deeply into his heart. Sister should not be felt as a consolation prize."

Lance wrapped his arm around her. "Easy for a mechanical lion to say, huh?"

_We are not mere..._

_ I know Red._

"Blue took offense at that," Allura giggled.

"So, did Red."

"You hear him here?"

"Yeah, it's kind of weird, being so far away the volcano and not in the air."

"I thought I might hear Blue, but I wasn't sure," Allura said. "Blue told me the things that became clear to me while my mind was clearer, they were gifts of sight. I should start to try to clear my mind more, cultivate it."

"Huh. I've always trusted my gut, maybe you should, Allura. Your intuition has saved us a time or two."

"I also thought Keith was in love with me, when he couldn't possibly be..." Allura sighed. "Do you understand why he didn't tell me sooner. I know he'd never willingly hurt me, he knew about my crush, why didn't he stop this before..."

"He didn't want to hurt you. He felt he never encouraged you."

Allura made a face. "I saw encouragements...maybe of my own making, I don't know..."

"Keith's kind of naive about relationships, Allura. In some ways, not in others. He's better at Command, battle, leading. He's...he's crapass boyfriend, trust me."

Allura's eyes went wide, she pulled away from him and Lance felt her studying him. "You two. You've dated!"

_Good one, Lance. Walked right into that_. "Uh, yeah, for about three months back in the Academy."

"Before here?"

"Yes. Way, before here."

Allura studied him for awhile, then shook her head. "I don't want to know."

"Good decision."

Allura smiled a bit.

"Nanny and Coran are worried," Lance said.

Allura sighed. "I don't want to deal with their reactions to Keith."

"Okay..." Lance offered.

"It's just...they want to protect me. I don't...that was another thing that became clear to me, Lance. You guys are saving me too much. I need to start saving myself more often. I need to learn to fight better, pilot better... You all say you aren't easy on me, but you all protect me. It's got to stop. I can't be be that girl anymore..." she wiped at her face.

Lance ground his teeth at the sight of her sadness, at the sight of tears. Her arm fell down from her face and she glanced at him, he could tell she saw his anger from her expression.

"You're angry at Keith."

Lance tried to find a way to agree with her without telling being too crass or too harsh. He couldn't, so he nodded.

"Me too, but it keeps getting overwhelmed by pain and want; I rather be mad, it's easier."

"I can get that."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lance sighed. "I was going too, last night. You'd probably be pissed at me now too, if I had a chance before the klaxons blared. Before that... Keith's the guy, you know who I am, you know who I date," _If not who I love, _Lance thought. " And it was Keith's secret to tell you, not that I ever understood why he made it a secret. Nanny figured it out. I think so did Coran. The rest of us knew, already. I think in some ways he let go for so long, it got harder to tell you because of the amount of pain it would cause... not that it makes him not telling you better."

"I kissed him. I proposed marriage!" Allura blushed beet red remember and she looked away from Lance. "I can't see him today Lance. Can you make sure he's not in the control room, I don't want to see him."

"I can do that, are you ready to go up now?"

Allura looked at him, then she turned her head toward where the Castle lay. "Not in the least."

Lance nodded. "You have your key?"

"Of course," Allura said.

Lance stood up, hit his wrist device. "Allura and I going to go work on her speed and agility. Be back in later," he said.

"What?" came Keith's voice.

Lance moved and put a hand on Allura's shoulder, to calm her down, seeing that she stiffened on hearing Keith's voice. "Keith, she needs a distraction. She needs the practice, we're both here now. It's what I'm going to do. We'll be back in two hours. Don't be there," he added darkly.

There was silence for a full minute and then Coran's voice came on. "It sounds like a good plan, Lieutenant. Please take of her..." Coran then abruptly cut off.

"Guess he didn't want to get too mushy," Lance said.

Allura let out a sigh. "Thank you."

Lance gave her a long look. "I'm going to push you hard, you know. You said you don't want us being too nice, right. And you're right we have been to easy, I've always thought so, but I had to follow orders."

Allura met his gaze. "You won't be easy today?"

"No. Fire Blue up and head to the canyon."

"The canyon where you and Keith race?"

"Yep."

Lance thought for a minute her whole face might light up with the smile she graced him with for the briefest of moments, but it didn't last and the sadness hit her eyes. He added another punch to the list of hits he owed Keith, he was beginning to lose count, but it didn't matter. One good satisfying one would do the trick...he flexed his wrist, then put his hands on the chair behind Allura's head. He was going to do his best in the next two hours, to help her fly faster, and see if he could make her laugh at least twice, even if it was a short laugh at his own damn expense.


	3. Chapter 3 Hang Ups

3. Hang Ups

Keith waved to the bartender to give him a third refill. The man behind the counter filled the glass with scotch but didn't leave. "If I may say something."

Keith looked up at the face of the bartender of the Elemental. Keith's favorite bar, really the only bar, in the closest village to the Castle, Aan near the large inactive volcano that was Red Lion's den. He recognized the man, he was around his and Lance's age, was always behind the bar when he came in no matter the time of day. He was quiet, but spoke with all the clientele easily. He had an easy smile and Keith saw nothing but curiosity in his pale blue eyes. "What do you want to know?"

"Why is the Captain of the Voltron Force is in my bar, in the middle of the day, drinking his best friends favorite's scotch?"

Keith looked down at the shot glass in his hand, he spun it around a few times, as he'd been doing before he downed the drink. "Bad night, bad morning. And wanted something harder than my usual."

"Arusian mead is a light drink, yes."

Keith shrugged. "I assure you that I will not leave your planet undefended. I am not drunk."

"No, it'd take more than one of those to get to you. And you've waited at least an hour between shots."

"If you know that, what are you asking me?"

He waved his arms over the empty bar, except for them, then cocked his head toward the window which showed a bright sunny Arus day. "Why?"

"That's personal."

"It always is, but as a bartender, I'm kind of good at listening and keeping secrets."

Keith studied the guy with his nice smile and his blue eyes. He shook his head.

"Look, you're the caption of the V.F., pretty damn important person on this planet. If something is bugging you that you can't talk to the Lieutenant about, but came here to drink his favorite pricey scotch about. I'm just trying to say, you can talk to me. I'm Roderick."

Keith shook his head again as he picked up the shot, he swallowed down the scotch. "I might if it was about only me. But, as it's not, I won't go spilling private business to a bartender who speaks to half the village."

Roderick nodded. "Sure, I get that, but anything you share, only between us."

"I don't take those kinds of risks."

"Maybe you need more risk in your life, Captain Kogane."

Keith frowned, he pulled what he owed Roderick out of his wallet and put it on the bar, with a decent tip. "I have enough risk in my life, on a daily basis, thank you."

"I meant the fun kind."

Keith found himself shaking his head again, he got off the stool, and walk away. He got five steps away from the building when he realized the short conversation with the bartender had managed to stop him from brooding on Lance and Allura. Stopped him from the constant recurring monologue in his head, where at times he sounded too much like Lance, rather than himself, where he harped on himself for not having the guts to tell Allura sooner.

The first time she looked at him with those eyes and a pink tinge to her cheeks, he should have told her the truth. But he hadn't because he'd been still feeling the burn from Lance refusing to sleep with him. It'd taken him by surprise, they'd done it before, since their relationship ended, and they'd been stationed together. Yet that time when Keith had left his room in the castle to go to Lance's, Lance had shut the door in his face. Saying things about the quarters being too close, the possibilities being to slim, and that he couldn't risk Keith getting too clingy like every other damn time.

Keith wanted to keep what he saw as his. Lance, Lance was his when they were together, and it felt right, natural to him, why didn't it feel that way to Lance? So no, that first day when he realized Allura had a crush, he'd seen Lance notice it too and he'd looked jealous. But not about him, about her. Keith had been mad, and out of spite he ate up Allura's attention to hurt Lance, thinking it a moment that wouldn't amount anything in concern with the big picture.

But it ended up snowballing. Lance fell in love with Allura, possibly it had happened at first sight for all Keith knew, he had with Lance. He sighed as he walked toward the Castle, on the way home. He found himself with a Princess, with a crush and he let too many days go by without telling her and then he didn't know how to do it without crushing her. So he put it off, hoping she'd outgrow it, that her intuition would grow ahead of her naiveté and she'd see the truth about him, know there was no chance for her with him.

He'd failed Allura spectacularly. Keith didn't know how to fix it.

He missed her, it'd been a day, not even a full one and he missed her. Talking to her, laughing with her, just walking with her in her gardens and enjoying a comfortable silence. She was a sister of his heart, family, someone he trusted. He had so few he did. How would he ever earn her smiles and her secrets back?

~~,~~

Keith pressed tab, frowned, moved the damn cursor where he needed it be on the form the Garrison needed him to fill out about team's weekly evaluations. He paused, he wasn't focused, was this evaluation for Hunk or Pidge? "Damn it," he muttered, he scrolled up the page, eyes scanning what he'd already written. Turned out the evaluation was for Pidge and Hunk, he let out a frustrated breath, deleted the whole thing and brought up a fresh form.

He was about to type in Pidge's name and rank to start over when the door to his office opened. Glowering him looked up. "I've told you to knock," he snapped.

Lance walked in and settled into the chair in front of Keith's desk and then put a report with Allura's name in his in box. "I thought you might want that."

Keith glanced at the report, knowing it was about Lance's impromptu idea to teach her to handle Blue lion at higher speeds. Important, and something she should've been working on for over a year if he was honest with himself. Keith kept thinking of her as someone to protect. Because of who she was. She was to protect, to defend, their oath was to defend Arus and Allura, in his mind. He couldn't seem to change his perspective and see her as a pilot, a fighter. It was like with her crush, he thought wryly. He'd thought that would run it's course and with her being in Blue, and he'd thought Sven would come back. Only Sven was staying on Pollux with Romelle. He wasn't returning and therefore, Allura needed to be trained more fully.

"How did she do?" Keith asked.

"That, that is your question?" Lance snapped.

Keith glared, he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to break down and talk about how awful he felt. Especially with Lance, the only person who stood a chance of getting him to do just that. Keith went back to the computer and angrily typed in Pidge's full name. He was suddenly super focused on the report. He kept typing in what he needed to say, what he had to say, it was boring, it was repetitive, there was nothing new to add. Pidge hadn't been injured, he was well, he was smarter than everyone still - though there wasn't a box for that. The only problem was Lance wasn't taking the hint. He wasn't leaving...

He was sitting there, leaned back, boots on his desk - damn him - arms behind his head, long neck all there tempting him. Keith swallowed and finished the last few lines of Pidge's evaluation and sent it to the appropriate folder, to await the evaluations of Lance and Hunk for sending to his Garrison supervisor.

He then sat as straight as he could manage to get his body, crossed his arms across his chest and stared at Lance, but tried to not really look at him. He looked too damn good, he had no right to be so handsome. So beautiful, really, Keith thought with his rugged jaw, cheekbones, the damn freckles, the lean neck. The laughing eyes, which weren't laughing at all, right now, his body was in a relaxed position but Lance was still pissed off at him.

Heat rushed through Keith, low in his belly, sweeping to all extremities and he curse inwardly and hoped it didn't show on his face or in his eyes. When they dated Lance would get mad, he'd get mad and they'd fight and then either Keith would end shoved against a wall or a door. Or it'd be him shoving Lance. He'd shoved Lance against a refrigerator once he remembered, Lance had then pushed him onto the kitchen table... Keith tried not to let the whole time flash into his mind. Yet it was as if he an eidetic memory when it came to him and Lance. Every time was burned into his mind, start to finish... He'd remembered them a million times and every time they still got him worked up. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Will you just go," he gritted out.

"You don't want to ask me how she is?"

Keith rolled his chair closer to the desk, pushed aside the keyboard and gave in with a look.

"About time, why must you always be so stubborn?"

"Lance, look, I didn't set out to hurt her."

Lance rolled his eyes. "You all but admitted not telling started as a way to spite me."

Keith wished there was a way to take that back, he'd been exhausted, guilty, why had he admitted that out loud. He looked up at the ceiling in his office, rough course stones. He felt like his skin was dragging against them, he felt so uncomfortable right now in so many ways. "I was spiteful and now I guess karma is hurting me."

"No. It's not you who is hurt here."

"That isn't what I..." Keith sighed. "I love her."

Lance eyed him, Keith held the gaze and he saw something soften in Lance's eyes. It made every one of Lance's sharp features look gentler, less barbarian and more the guy from the midwest who liked long walks, and had surprised him when he said he loved to read. Keith felt like his heart was in his mouth, as he so often did around Lance.

"I know you love her," Lance sighed, he took his feet down, moved forward his elbows on the desk now. "Look, I get you were mad at me back then, and why... and you know if she had crush on me and I didn't like her back, not so sure it'd be easy to look into those big Arusian eyes of hers and say no. You know? But damn it, Keith!"

"I thought she'd figure out I was gay."

"Why?"

"Because she's Allura, Lance. She's so intuitive. She can read people better than anyone I know...except when it comes to reading how they feel about her," Keith frowned. "I guess. I don't know I was hoping she'd figure it out and I wouldn't ever have to hurt. I never thought she'd get it in her head to propose to me."

Lance shook his head. "You over a pompous Prince, or some sniveling young lordling. Yeah, I can see why..."

"Lance. I'm not royalty, I'm not even Arusian."

"No, you're just the Hero of the whole planet. And she worshipped the ground you walked on," Lance's voice took on a bitter edge.

Keith felt embarrassment rush up his neck in a heat wave. It was really quite uncomfortably hot and stuffy in here, he thought, "Lance, open the window." He hated it when any mention of the Arusian public's opinion was mentioned. It bothered him how the rest of the team was referred to as his team. They weren't his team, he was a part of the team, they were a team. Allura included; she was never included in the team portion at all. No matter what her contribution to the fight was. Sometimes he wondered if in the Arusian history books their lives would be written about correctly.

"Did you just order me to open a window?"

"Lance?" Keith asked, begged him with a look, he really couldn't stand up right now. Especially not with Lance leaning forward, elbows on the desk, his mouth right there.

Lance rolled his eyes and stood up. Keith licked his lips quickly while Lance's back was turned, eyes falling to Lance's ass and he chastised himself, as he always did when this happened. Weekly. Lance pushed the window up and then stayed there, still, enjoying a rush of a breeze that blew the hair off the nape of his neck. Keith wished he was the wind.

"You were right, this office is stuffy," Lance said, smiling at him from where he stood.

Something broke in Keith then, his mind whispered something to him and he obeyed it without thinking it through - a rare occurrence for him, it was usually on the third or fourth run through in his mind he would finally make a move. He stood up, walked to the window and grabbed Lance's face in his hands and kissed him.

For brief moment, as he tasted Lance again after so many years and found him to taste exactly the same. Coffee, peppermint gum, and that addictive Lance flavor, Keith thought everything would be okay. But strong hands landed on his chest and didn't grab at his collar to pull him closer they shoved him back, hard. Too hard. Keith almost fell, he just saved himself from hitting the floor due to years of training. He stood, trying to look like he hadn't lost his breath and kept his gaze locked on Lance.

"Why not?" he asked, and cringed inwardly, damn it what was it about Lance that made him so pathetic. He was pathetic and he almost didn't care. Because he wanted this work, they could work. He loved Lance, they'd grown so much, they'd both grown up so much, they'd had to and it meant things could be different.

"Don't...you...you're doing this now!" Lance yelled. "Keith, no. Just no..."

"Are you not attracted to me any more?" Keith asked.

"What?"

"I can be less...Neanderthal about the jealousy, I know you felt I was too jealous, too possessive. And I can be better about that. I know you'd never cheat on me, not if we're together."

"Keith..." Lance was shaking his head.

"We're best friends, we talk all the time, we laugh, we do half the things we used to do..."

"So just add sex, commitment and stir?" Lance asked.

"Why not?" Keith asked. "Part of why I haven't asked was Allura. She... Knows about me, she won't be all that surprised to find out I've loved you forever. Not really, she's so intuitive..."

"Keith," Lance's voice had gone dangerously soft.

"I mean it, I won't toss you out of the bed for saying Hi to Hunk in the morning," Keith let out a little laugh.

"You being a possessive asshole isn't..."

"What?"

"I could easily..." Lance crossed the room and sat back down. Keith pounced, rounding the chair, he put his hands on Lance's shoulders and started to knead. "Don't," Lance said, swatting his hands.

"You're tense."

"You're insane," Lance stood up. "I could easily put this on, the fact that when we did date it got the point I couldn't even answer a question in a class we shared. I mean that time you thought I was flirting with that Professor, that Lieutenant Wade that was subbing for Hawkins for a few weeks. I almost dumped you that week, Keith."

Keith stiffened. "Oh."

"Yeah. Or, I could easily point out that we were only together for three months. I know we had a few hooks up when we got stationed together, but that stopped here. And I know that was the right move. I understand that you are still..." Lance waved his hands around. "And I don't think it's strange, or creepy. I get that...you feel what you feel and you can't stop it, or control, or really do anything about it. I do. I know you and I'm sorry, Keith. But I don't think this should come as a shock to you, Keith but, uh, crap..."

Keith held his breath.

"Keith, I'm in love with Allura," Lance said, his gaze locked with Keith's. "And that, that is why us never going to happen. Even if she marries some damn stupid joke of a man in a prince. I just...like I said I get why you're still all hung up on me now. Better than ever really."

Keith nodded, turned and sat back down at his desk. "Leave please," he asked softly.

Lance stayed still for a minute, Keith could feel his eyes on him, the concern, the friendship - the damn friendship - he ignored it all. Lance finally turned and left the room. But he was back inside eleven minutes later.

"Uh, speaking of fucking princes...you have to come into control room, now!"

Keith looked up from his evaluation about Hunk and gave Lance a look.

"I wouldn't come back here if it wasn't...Coran and Nanny are giving a tour to two Princes they have invited to stay here for two weeks, because they didn't get a chance at the Ball to dance with Allura!"

Keith flew to his feet, not noticing he accidentally deleted his almost finished evaluation of Hunk.


	4. Chapter 4 Nönö and Lun

**Happy Birthday Harmony and Melody!**

* * *

><p>4. Nönö and Lun<p>

Prince Chandler of Nönö stood six feet six, had long flowing blonde hair, deep dark blue eyes, dimples and a rock hard body. He also couldn't stop talking about himself. How good he was at swordsmanship, how great he was at archery, how proud his father was at his political instinct. How he already performed many of the duties of the King in the staid of his father. But mostly how many of the high born woman of his own planet and others of the most well to do planets of the galaxy all lusted after him for both his body and his power.

He reminded Allura of a Lotor without the bloodlust. At least she didn't think he had any urges to kill, maim and rape. Though his touch made her shudder, and she spent her morning walk with him, dodging his touch and tactfully removing his hands off her body. She wanted to throw him to the ground a time or two. He'd touched her where all she would have to do is grab his arm and twist a bit this or that way. He wasn't that much taller than Hunk, and he was that much heavier than Lance. It'd be easy, but wouldn't become a Princess.

All she knew was she would not ever be the Queen of Nönö, as well as of Arus. Never. Ever. Coran and Nanny would be told so, loudly for hours if need be. She couldn't believe this had become her life after her eighteenth birthday. Her plans had been so specific and now they were so different. And she was now as angry with Coran and Nanny as she was with Keith...for inviting these two Princes into her home, at the peak of her heartbreak, to be in her face at all times. She wanted quiet. She wanted to walk alone in her garden, not with this disagreeable fool. She wanted to listen to her own voice in her head, not Prince Chandler's grating voice, which was not at all sexy or deep, as he claimed it was. She was pretty sure the women who told him that had been lying in order to be near a Prince... She was pretty sure Pidge had a deeper voice. She wanted him to shut up. Prince Chandler never let the conversation lull for more than two seconds, and he had yet to ask her one question. About herself, about Arus, about anything that didn't have to do with himself.

Thankfully their tour of the gardens was over, she was coming up on where Coran stood with King Vivo of Nönö and his young daughter, fifteen year old Princess Viola. She was angry at her advisor, the man who had raised her all these years but he was a sight for sore eyes. Hurrying her step, she walked a bit ahead of Chandler, who called out behind her. "Wait, Princess Allura, let me hold your arm."

Tradition meant that they were to have walked with her arm linked through his arm, the two chaperones, a guard from Nönö and a guard from Arus, three feet behind them. She turned, up a hill now she could see the guards trailing behind. She sighed and shook her head when she realized it was Pidge and Hunk. They saw her looking and Hunk shrugged. She shrugged back and hoped she looked apologetic as well. She was more angry now, where was the Nonian guard, why were her friends chaperoning her on a walk. They better things to be doing with their mornings.

"Coran," she muttered under her breath, angrily, speeding up her steps more, more angry than ever. It wasn't enough they'd pushed this onto her while she was in the midst of a broken heart. He and Nanny hadn't let her even begin to heal. It was bad enough she'd been bored out of her mind all morning with Prince Chandler not to mention wanting to do bodily harm to him. But her friends had been the chaperones, when it wasn't even traditional... She, Keith and Lance had all gotten lectures about how it was traditional for a Princess of Arus to choose a few long term Princes or Lords to be court her for the next four years, until she was ready to choose her Prince upon becoming Queen. Long, shouted by Nanny speeches and longer, calmly said speeches by Coran.

Lance had walked in the middle of Coran's longer speech.

Keith had left after Nanny yelled at him for not saying yes to Allura's proposal - he could have had a man on the side. Allura had wanted to be sick, and screamed she felt chattel. Which made Nanny cry and Coran had at least had the decency to look upset with himself. But it was too late, she was stuck with Prince Chandler and Prince Holder for two weeks. It didn't mean that Pidge and Hunk, or for that matter Lance and Keith were going to have to play chaperone. It was ridiculous, they were the Voltron Force. Not her babysitters.

She got the stairs that she had to climb, they took her to the left away from the group in front of the Castle waiting for them to join them, for about a minute, less if she kept up this speed. Allura tried not to laugh, as she heard Chandler puffing behind her yelling for her to slow down, she ducked her head down, picked up her skirt higher and started up the steps, taking the curve of them at fairly high speed. Which meant she didn't see Lance coming down the stairs until it was too late. She didn't have time to stop herself from barreling into him, she saw him see her, smile, start to say hello and then she saw him frown, hold up his hands. She cringed as the collision happened, waited for them to hit the hard stone steps, but instead all that happened was she lifted off the air, spun around, everything felt wobbly and unsteady and she was looking at Lance's face, as he stumbled back up a few steps and then down about six, and somehow managed to hold her and not fall.

He then met her eyes, she met his, and they both smiled and were about to start laughing hysterically when Chandler caught up to him. "Unhand her this instant," he yelled and pulled out his sword.

Maybe she was wrong about the bloodlust, she thought as Lance put her feet down on the rock. She was standing above him by a step, she still wasn't anywhere near Lance's height. He was six foot one, at least that was what his paperwork said. Keith was five-eight, according to the same paper. They both looked like midgets near Lotor yet they faced up to him like men twice his size... She never once gave Lance his due credit for all the times he fought with Lotor, never like she had with Keith. Or, Pidge, the shortest of them all, he was pushing five feet he wouldn't be much taller, he'd probably stay shorter than her she thought. He'd rush up against Lotor on his own without thought all for her, always with a whole lot of bravery. Hunk too.

It was all so much clearer, as much as it all hurt, things were so much clearer how much she romanticized everything Keith did. Every hand held, every look, every glance. She felt tears start prick at her eyes, it stung and she blinked them away. Then she saw the sword Chandler was holding, and pointing at Lance's chest. What the hell was she doing, thinking about Keith and her broken heart now?

"Chandler put that way, we almost had a bad collision, we're lucky we didn't fall. Lance is a dear friend, and my teammate. I will not have you drawing your weapon at him."

"You are the Princess, he should be nothing to you. If we court, I would take over your duties. He would be...my teammate," Prince Chandler said with a sneer.

"You're a pilot?" Lance said and Allura heard laughter in his voice loud and clear, but also something darker underlying it, it caused the hair on the back of her neck to raise up. She felt uneasy and prayed to the Arusian Godess she could diffuse this situation quickly.

"Not yet, but how hard can it be? I excel at all I try to do."

"I don't think Blue Lion would take to you," Lance said.

Prince Chandler laughed. "What nonsense is that?"

"The Lions are sentient," Allura explained. "Blue Lion would have to approve you."

"I am sure she would, all women love me, even mechanical ones I am sure," Prince Chandler laughed, as he always pulled away his sword and sheathed it.

Lance seemed tense between her and the Prince, Allura felt waves of emotion rolling off of him that she couldn't quite place. Anger seemed the only way to explain it, but there was more to it, she reached out feeling something darker and underlying pulsing between the two men. She didn't like. "We should go meet Coran and King Vivo," she said.

"I'll walk back with you," Lance said.

"There is no need of that," Prince Chandler said.

"It's only polite," Lance said and Allura could hear him gritting his teeth but then he smiled, a sincere smile. "Hey guys, we were about to start walking again, we had a little collision. Allura and I almost tumbled down the stairs. Who knows how much damage we might have inadverantly don't to good Prince Chandler here," Lance smacked Prince Chandler in what looked like a friendly gesture smack in the middle of his chest.

Allura felt like the air was thick tension and she just wanted to get them on more neutral ground. "Pidge, Hunk, I'm so sorry," she said, looking at them. "Why on earth are you two chaperoning?"

"We volunteered, Princess," Hunk said, "Don't apologize. The team had a talk, we decided we should be watching out for you right now..."

"What do you mean, inadvernately hurt me?" Prince Chandler suddenly asked. Glaring at Lance.

"Right now?" Allura echoed, Hunk's words as she stepped between Lance and Prince Chandler. "Please, let's get going, they must be wondering why we are late."

"Our chaperones are here, you were walking down, Lieutenant, why don't you continue on your way," Prince Chandler said to Lance, as he watched Lance give Allura his left elbow, so she was linked between the two of them.

"I was coming down to get you and the Princess. Coran wants to get going into the village, the tour of Aan he promised your father last night. Prince Holder should be waiting with the group, along with Nanny and Keith when we get up there. Pidge, Hunk, Keith wants you on Castle defenses."

Prince Chandler grumbled. "Of course, of course, I guess our time alone for the day is over, Princess..." he said. "I am sorry to see it end, as I am sure you are too."

Allura struggled for words, "I am sure we'll once again have time for you regale me with your tales, Prince Chandler," she said and added silently and bore me to death with it as well.

Lance ducked his head down and whispered into her ear. "What Hunk meant about right now was that with how you must be feeling, we didn't want you alone with stupid princes without real back up, so you get us. Keith promises to keep his distance."

"You allow these common men such liberties, Princess, this would never be allowed at the Castle of Nöns on Nönö."

How he could speak of people who were right next to him as if they weren't there, Allura bit back the urge to tell him off. It wasn't proper decorum but she wanted too tell him his manners were dreadful and he was behaving like cretin and not a man. "These men are not commoners in Arusian eyes. They are the Saviors of Arus, they gave us back our greatest form of defense in Voltron. They've helped me to able to protect my people and help rebuild my planet. Someday Arus will be thriving again and it will be because of Lance, Pidge and Hunk, as well as Keith and their friend Sven who now lives on Arus' sister planet Pollux."

"Ah yes, the commoner Princess Romelle is taking as her Prince-Consort. Such gossip, there are those not looking too highly on such a match..."

"And those who are," Pidge said.

"What would you know about it?" Prince Chandler said.

"King Bandor is a friend, we correspond often and I know quite a bit about what his allies and his enemies think of things. A lot of his greatest supporters feel Sven is an asset to Polluxian safety."

"As they should," Lance said with a knowing grin. "Sven's fierce, he'd take on a whole battlement on his own to protect Pollux."

"He'd win too," Hunk added.

Prince Chandler looked speechless, Allura felt her first real smile of the day grow on her face as they stepped up the last steps and walked towards the group awaiting them to walk into the main village of Aan for the tour. She caught sight of Keith, her heart sped up and she felt heat in her cheeks, she ducked her head. Though she lost her smile, Allura fought to keep the feeling of lightness her friends had managed to form in her heart. She wouldn't let her broken heart ruin everything, until she learned to live with it. She couldn't imagine it healing, all she could do was learn to live with it broken and the hope she could look at Keith someday without feeling burned.

~~.~~

Prince Holder was quiet, gentlemanly, and asked her question about Arus, about herself, and about her people. As they walked through Aan he asked about the architecture, the groups of people he noticed that stood out among the others. He had spotted the plain clothes guards Keith always had on duty in the village streets, keeping an out for both petty crime and Drule infiltration in case of Lotor trying something from within her one burgeoning city. He had also spotted the group of Arusian Faithful, the ones of the Church, who walked through the village offering help and peace for all who needed or wanted it. He was impressed on how they not push their views or the issue when they were turned down, Allura was surprised to find out on his plaent there were some with religious views who tried to tell others they were wrong for not believing.

"Either you are of the Faithful or you aren't, no one forces you to attend the Church, but we all of Arus, it binds us together the planet. All people will help anyone anywhere, but those who want to feel closer to something...the Goddess as some call her, a God as others say, or just a guiding force as I have heard others. They have the Church and people to talk to there. We have no actual priests, or scheduled services, everything happens on its own time because it's truly about the individual's faith. However we will come together when needed..." as she spoke the words Coran stopped them in front of the orphanage. "Like here. Everyone pitched in to build it, we did all we could place every child five and under into a family, mostly we succeeded. No siblings were separated, but unfortunately being a planet that is the battleground there are always children losing parents..."

"Parents must lose children too..." Prince Holder said.

"Yes, yes, but they need time to grieve before the will come here, if they can," Allura said.

Holder nodded and stepped forward a bit to listen to Coran's speech about the building of the orphanage, being by the men and women of the village as well as the Voltron Force, and Allura herself. Allura took that moment to study him a bit more, he was around Lance's height she estimated, maybe a little shorter, he was even thinner than Lance but it was probably because he lacked the muscle tone she surmised. He had dark hair, and dark eyes, a nice face, and he was the nicest prince she'd ever met.

She didn't want to make the decision she was thinking of making, something about even thinking about telling Coran, _maybe_ on Prince Holder, made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin and her arms wrapped around her chest. But Coran and Nanny weren't trying to find her Prince because they wanted to marry her off for fun, they didn't want to marry her off at all, not really, she knew this. Arusian tradition was it was ruled by a King and a Queen, Arus was a planet that had been decimated in the war it was in, Arus needed strong allies and Prince Holder's planet of Lun was good solid planet. Lun was technologically advanced, as well had had a good argiculture import/export within the Denubian. It was a politically sound decision, better even than Nönö, thank the Goddess, Prince Chandler's planet needed Arus more than Arus needed it. Holder was nice, handsome, and he didn't make her skin crawl, she could... maybe grow to like him...

She wouldn't think further than that she decided as the uncomfortable, unwanted feeling grew inside of her but she would have to tell Coran that she would consider maybe allowing more visits from Prince Holder in the future. It was enough for now she thought as her attention was drawn to a few kids laughing and she turned to see Lance taking off his jacket, and talking a mile a minute at Keith. Keith looked serious, in fact too serious, she felt burned as she easily read Keith's mood - how could she had known him so well and missed something so obvious. She was a fool, embarrassment flooded her and she felt her cheeks heat but she made herself watch the scene. Keith was going to give in any moment now and play with Lance and kids.

Lance was already walking backward, with a ball in his hand, one kid with him while the other kid ran out to the opposite end of the field next to the orphanage. Lance yelled. "Really going to let the teams be so uneven, Keith... Come on!" Lance shouted.

"We are on duty."

"The douche went inside, the nice guy and Allura are watching us... it's safe for a good twenty minutes while Nanny introduces the rest of them to each orphan dumb enough to stay inside. Let's reward these two smart ones... and play ball!"

Allura laughed, then she heard Princess Viola who she hadn't noticed had come back from being inside and step beside her say. "Oh, wow his arms, he's so hot..." Allura looked down at the younger princess and saw her licking her lips as she stared unabashedly at Lance.

"Fine, fine, but only for ten minutes or Coran comes out, whichever comes first," Keith said walking out to join the other boy, pulling his shirt over his head, so he two was only in a t-shirt. Allura had to look away, so she put her eyes firmly back on Lance.

"Ooh, look at them flex," Princess Viola whispered, grabbing Allura's arm. "His bicep, his forearm, the wrist... I'm so glad he's on the side closet to us."

Allura forced a smile, there was something about Viola's enthusiasm that was unsettling to Allura, it was so open, so real and sincere, it was innocent and sweet. It hurt Allura to remember she would never have that again, ever, she'd lost it forever, when Keith had not only turned her down but shattered any chance. Allura put her eyes on Lance's arms, though, just in time to watch him let go of the ball and see his muscles go from completely taut to relaxed for a brief moment. It was a rather pleasing sight, blushing, she'd always found Lance really handsome had had turn away blushing from peeking at him more than once, but that had been before she'd forgotten about all other men in favor of Keith.

"Does he like younger women?" Princess Viola asked her.

"Uh?" Allura stared down at the fifteen year old girl, searching for a polite way to tell her that no Lance didn't date fifteen year old girls. Pidge was more age appropriate for Viola but Allura wouldn't dare say that, it wouldn't do any good anyway. "I think he might have a girlfriend," Allura heard herself lie and she felt horrible but who was she to break this young girls heart.

_I didn't want to hurt you_, Keith's voice came back into her head. Allura shook it away. "Excuse me," she said and walked back over to where Holder was standing watching the game. She was about to tell him if he wished, he could join them, when she heard him say under his breath, possibly not meant to be said out loud...

"How does the Princess concentrate with so much sexiness around her on a daily basis, they are both such fine specimens of men..." Holder whispered and then he licked his lips as Lance made a dive for he ball, his dark eyes right on Lance's butt.

No, no, no,_ no_! Allura's mind heard the words, replayed them, looked between Holder and Lance, then Holder and Keith for a the next minute watching how he watched them and put everything together in her mind. Gay, gay, gay, she thought. _Gay_!.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!" She shouted, making Holder jump because it was right in his right ear. Lance let the ball hit him the chest as he turned toward her and Keith started walked toward her, his eyes right on her. She felt Keith more than saw him and she spun toward him, finger pointing outward and shouted. "No, don't you dare come near me," she shouted before she turned and ran away.

"Allura!" Lance's voice shouted and she heard his footseps behind her. She kept running for a few seconds longer than she stopped short, at an alley between two buildings she didn't recognized. She'd never been this far into Aan she realized, suddenly, and Lance was right there suddenly right in front of her. He looked down at her and tipped her tear covered face upward. "Hey, what happened?"

"I liked him. I don't love him of course, but he was nice and he wasn't slimy and he was smart. I liked him and he was drooling over you and Keith... What's wrong with me, Lance?"


	5. Chapter 5 Not Giving Up

5. Not Giving Up

"Nothing," Lance said, shaking his head trying to process the problem. "Holder's gay?" he asked his brain trying to process her rantings about why she'd taking off running on the ground dirt streets of Aan wearing a gown and her fancy crown.

"I think so, yes. He licked his lips, he wondered how I concentrated around you and Keith," she cried, wiping at her face with the back of her hand.

"He told you this?" Lance asked because that made no sense for a Prince here to gain a political footing with Arus to say to the Princess his family wished him to wed.

"No, I think he accidentally said it out loud. Then I saw him looking at your butt."

Lance laughed, he couldn't help it, hearing Allura say someone was looking at his butt felt absurd to him, even when her voice was shaky from crying and tears were still on her face. Her pretty-pretty face, he felt a lump form his own throat. He put his hand back on her cheek, trailing his thumb against the wetness. "Stop crying will you? I don't know what do when you all...teary and upset."

"Am I doomed to only like gay men?"

Lance laughed again the question was so ridiculous but Allura didn't think it was because she humphed at his response, slammed her fists into his chest hard and turned to walk away. He watched her for a minute, wondering if she had any clue where she was going. She was walking down the alley they were standing in. They were between the Elemental and the Aan Family Diner, Lance sighed and walked after her. "Allura," he called out.

"I'm serious," she said.

"I see that," he said. "It's just...that is crazy."

"Isn't it. Prince Holder is everything that horrible Prince Chandler is not. He is in fact everything, every other Prince I have ever met is not. I was going to tell Coran that he was a maybe, that he could be maybe be... I might be able to like him enough to be his wife. Is he that way because he's gay, Lance?"

"I.." Lance didn't know, he grabbed her hand before she kept walking down the main road they were now on, further into the village where things got a more dodgy, where the divier of dive bars were, and buildings began to be further and further apart until it sprawled out into farmland.

She stopped walking when his hand closed around hers and looked up at him. "Please tell me I'm not doomed."

He smiled at her unable to help himself, she felt so deeply he couldn't blame her for her melodramatic emotion at the moment. She'd been stung by Keith and now this Prince was gay and he was nice, smart and tolerable, the best of the worst and why shouldn't she be upset. He hated the idea though she would ever have to settle for someone she found tolerable, especially if that someone might end up being a gay Prince... Fuck, she deserved to be happy.

"Gay doesn't equal smart, intelligent, gallant, noble, nice, and whatever else you think Holder was that made him tolerable, and whatever else it was about Keith... Trust me there are lots of Prince Chandler's who are gay too. Not all bastards, assholes and douchebags are straight. Is there a chance Holder's bisexual? You know we exist." He winked at her.

Her mouth twitched then formed a small smile. "Not doomed?"

"No way," he said, laughing.

She frowned though and then pressed into him, her head on his chest, her arms around him, and started to sob. "But I am, not the gay thing, but marrying someone I don't love, won't love, because it won't be someone I've chosen, not really... I've, I thought I didn't need to worry about it because of Keith." Her burrowed into him.

Lance wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, his chin on her head thinking her hair was soft and not knowing what the hell to do or say. He didn't want her stuck in a loveless marriage, he didn't want to watch her sad forever not able to do anything about it. He wanted her to love him, he wanted her... All to himself. He took in a sharp breath, and pulled her closer as she continued to cry.

"Mommy, why is the Princess crying on that man?"

"Bennie, don't stare, come on..."

Lance gazed in the direction of the voices, saw the mother pulling her son away from them but she was staring at them as much as her child was, others on the street were as well. Though they were attempting to look like they weren't staring at their Princess having a breakdown on the street and crying in his arms.

He reluctantly broke the hug, but took her hand and pulled her toward the Elemental. She followed him a confused look in her eyes. He shook his head and said under his breath. "Explain inside," he said. He pushed open the door to the bar and was happy to see it was empty. He locked it behind him.

"People were staring, wanted to get you out of the public eye," he said.

Allura blushed, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. "What's more embarrassment," she muttered darkly.

Lance turned back toward her and squeezed her shoulders, leaning down to look her straight in the eye. "You are stronger than some embarrassment, and you know it Allura. It's okay, it's going to okay."

She bit her lip, nodded but he had a feeling she didn't believe him, he wasn't sure he believed him. He walked behind the bar and slapped his hand against the door there, Roderick was usually around somewhere, it was his family's place after all.

The door swung open, Roderick was smiling. "Kogane you back again?"

Lance raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. "No, I would just like you to make some tea for the Princess," he pointed to Allura.

Allura waved. "Tea would be nice, I'm not ready to go back, Lance."

Lance looked back at her. "I know, I'm going to call in, okay?"

She nodded.

"Keep anyone else out of here, okay?" Lance ordered but tried to keep it nice.

Roderick nodded, looking a bit surprised if not overwhelmed by the sight of Allura in his bar. He walked into his bar, towards the kitchens. "Princess, what kind of tea would like?"

"Anything herbal, please," Allura said.

"Right, of course, sure," Roderick said as he disappeared.

"I'll be right back," Lance said as he stepped out the back door of The Elemental, into the alley where he and Allura had started talking. He shook his head, she was a mess over Keith, he wondered how long it would take for her to be able to handle being around him. He didn't like the side effect of her thinking, or realizing she'd end up in an arranged marriage either. Why did she have to not have a choice, or not wait for love? Fundamentally felt wrong to him, it was archaic and ridiculous, it demeaned her in his eyes. She was more than her title, than Voltron, than Arus.

She was Allura. He'd marry her if she had nothing... _You're in love with her you ass_, he told himself and shook his head. He pulled open his comm. unit, "Keith?"

"About time, what happened?"

"He's gay, or at least hot for our bodies," Lance said, mostly to make Keith uncomfortable, he was kind of sad he couldn't see his face. It was probably a priceless expression. "She freaked out, thinking she might only be attracted to men who don't like women. It's a combination of broken heart and the fucking fact she's stuck getting a fucking arranged marriage now."

The comm. was quite for a long moment, then Keith's voice came on. "How do you really feel about the arrange marriage thing? Try be less pissed about it around Allura, Coran and Nanny?"

"Coran and Nanny I get, why Allura?"

"She has to accept it."

"I don't think she has to accept a life without love."

"A lot of arranged marriages..."

"Don't give me the fucking statistics."

"Fine. Are you two on your way back?"

"She needs to calm down, I have Roderick from Elemental giving her tea, tell Nanny and Coran not to worry."

"Lance, Allura can't just wander around Aan..."

"I get that, why I pulled her inside, Roderick's closed until we leave. Oh and by the way, when I knocked on his door to get him, he thought I was you - Why'd that be?"

"I have no idea," Keith said.

"Huh, okay," Lance shrugged, he'd been hoping for something juicy but Keith had answered too quickly and calmly. Maybe he had another person crushing on him and was oblivious, it'd be like Keith, Lance shook his head. "Give us half an hour."

"Okay, I'll think of something to tell Coran and Nanny."

"Good luck."

"Sounds like I'm partially to blame."

Lance bit his tongue so he didn't shout into the comm. that Keith was fully to blame. It wouldn't do any good to continue blaming him for this. Allura was the one who ran off Lance told himself and she was overreacting but who expected one of the princes to be gay. Not that either one of them should be on Arus. He liked Holder better himself, he wasn't worried about him trying to take advantage of Allura, or forcing anything on her. Prince Chandler was arrogant enough to think no meant yes; Lance shuddered as he walked back into the bar.

Roderick was behind the bar when he walked back in, do what looked like nothing but he was making it look like something. Lance gave him a nod. "We'll only be in the way for about half an hour," he said, then he grabbed a chair at the table Allura was sitting at, turned it around and straddled it backwards, putting his arms on the back of it and leaning his chin on his arms.

"How are you?" He asked, knowing the answer but hoping she felt a bit better.

"A mess," Allura laughed, before taking another sip of her tea. "I feel like I haven't had a chance to even breathe since I got my bubble burst. But we never get much breathing room, do we?"

"No," Lance shook his head.

"You don't seem to mind that Prince Holder likes you, maybe so he finds some enjoyment out of this trip, I could...find out if he likes you enough..."

"Whoa!" Lance held up his hand. "Allura, don't go setting me up with a Prince. For one thing, not on their level, and for another though Prince Holder seems all right he's not my type."

There was a muted laugh from behind the bar, Roderick's head bobbed up from being down below, he caught them both looking at them. He winked at Lance, and went back to whatever it was he was doing with a rag and had to do with moving glasses around. Lance was sure he was simply eavesdropping.

"Have you," Allura asked, voice low her big blue eyes darting back and forth between him and Roderick who kept disappearing and reappearing.

"Me and him?" Lance asked, sighed. "Not really, no," he admitted.

Allura frowned. "Not really, no? I don't know what that means, Lance."

Lance couldn't stop the smirk that formed on his face, even though talking about sex life was not on his list of things to do with Allura. He leaned forward tilting the chair. "It means we never went to bed together, no sex, just kissing, lots of fondling. Never saw him with his pants off. In his specific case. It was just one night and I got a feeling we were both substituting the other for someone else, and neither of us found a very good sub."

Allura's eyes darted back and forth a few more times, she was blushing, Lance wondered what she was picturing. His mind couldn't stop himself from wondering how she was visualizing him in the sexual situation he'd just explained to her.

"Who was it you thought Roderick might be able to replace?"

"Never replace... just take away the..." Lance couldn't think of the right word to tell her. He definitely couldn't tell her it was her, it was always her that had him getting too drunk, or not even getting drunk first and looking for some pleasure to try to make himself forget. Trying to find someone else who was attainable, who he could have, who was he good enough for... "Someone special, that's all," he said, smiling at her and resisting the urge to reach out and tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Whoever it is, must be stupid," Allura said. "You shouldn't give up love though Lance, you have that leisure," she whispered, staring into her tea.

Lance leaned forward then, his hand coming up and tucking the hair behind her ear. "Allura, don't give up on love for you either. You deserve it more than anyone else I know."

Allura gave him a wide bright smile but it faded as quickly as it came. "But who I fell for doesn't love me back," she whispered.

Lance sighed. "You aren't doomed by your first crush, Allura."

"What if... what if it's not a crush, what if it was love and Keith's in my heart forever and I can't unlove him and learn to love, or fall in love with anyone else."

Lance shook his head at her, he heard himself say no, but he was thinking about himself, he was thinking about Keith. He didn't know if Keith had felt he loved anyone one before him, he knew he hadn't come close to loving anyone before Allura. There had been people he thought he could love, maybe but that had been because he'd been so in lust in with them... Keith had been one, but his possessiveness had quenched that in a matter of days. Friendship and brotherhood had ended up being the end result and for the best. Allura did not deserve their unrequited fate, they could both be bastards, pricks and asses.

Allura was nothing but good, her worst traits were impatience, impulsiveness and being stubborn, and she used them all with only good intentions at hard. She ran head long into danger and it wasn't because she needed a adrenaline rush. For her it was about Arus, her people... But he and Keith had learned to fly for the thrill.

"No. Allura, you've said yourself since he told you he was gay you've realized how you romanticized everything, you know you build up Keith to be something he wasn't. You can't fall in love with an image. Only a real man, okay?" Lance prayed he was right. Then he prayed whoever the man was would be worthy of her, because he'd kill him if he wasn't. He would, Lance thought as Allura smiled at him again, indicated her empty tea cup and said in a voice that indicated the opposite that they should head back.

"Thank's Roderick," Lance said standing up and swinging his chair back the right way around. He dropped some Arusian money down on the counter. Then linked his arm with Allura's, and led her out toward the back, because it would be the faster way back toward the castle.

"I wish sometimes," Allura whispered.

"What?"

"That I didn't always have something I had to do... Like royal guests, my royal studies, and don't get me wrong it is a privilege to be on the team but training and more training. Maybe it's because right now I just want to be left alone to lick my wounds and I guess that would do me no good."

"I guess not. You did say you wanted more training, harder training?"

"I do. Will Keith agree?"

"We'll make him, he has no choice, he knows the logic."

Allura nodded. "Good, I want to be able to help myself more often, rather than having to rely on you guys so often. I shouldn't be the Princess who is the damsel, especially if I'm Blue Lion."

"Allura, I never thought you were a damsel in distress, I promise."

"I know, why I love you." Allura smiled.

Simple and true and not at all the way he wished she meant them, he wanted to stop and pin her against the nearest wall, he realized, show what real love felt like. Or the lust of real love felt like, he wasn't sure what real love felt like. He wanted to find out, she was warm, she was soft, she smelled amazing, being around her hurt but he craved her contact. He sought her out more often than not, he wasn't sure how it happened, or when he fell. But he loved Allura, he knew that, any threat on her life and he saw red fiery flames. Any one looked at her wrong and he wanted to smash their face in, it took him a long time to realize it was jealousy. He'd never been so blindsided by anything in his life but he couldn't be unhappy about it.


	6. Chapter 6 A Disturbing Pattern

6. A Disturbing Pattern

The music was melodic, there was a boldness to it's chords and yet a broken haunting underlying softness that was the main reason that Keith was following the sound through the castle halls. He'd never quite heard strings sound the way these strings did, it reminded him of a cello but it couldn't be - could it? Keith turned down another hall, which brought him toward a slightly open door of one of the guest suites in the castle. The music soared out of the room, the broken haunting notes become less broken and more hopeful as the piece rose up towards... Wherever it was going, it was this that had Keith against all his usual manners pushing through the door without knocking, stepping into the guest suite and following the music out onto the balcony to where the source sat.

Prince Holder of Lun, sat on a bench, holding between his legs what did resemble a Terran cello but wasn't quite the same, it was the differences that caused the bolder chords, Keith realized immediately. But it was Holder's talent that had entranced Keith, Keith stood in the threshold of the door leading from the bedroom to the balcony, listening as the piece rose and rose and then...

Holder just stopped.

Keith let out a surprised whine, "But it's not over..."

Holder startled and nearly dropped his instrument and bow. "I, uh...am I needed somewhere, Commander?"

Keith felt heat flush his face as it dawned on him where he was and what he'd done. He looked backward at the suite of rooms he'd walked right through, the door had been open at least. "Uh, no. You're door was open, I was... That is a beautiful piece why did you stop? I heard it from down the hall, was trying to figure out where it was coming from and the instrument." Keith crossed his arms over his chest, feeling like a fool. "I shouldn't have walked in here, I apology."

Holder was quiet for while, before he stood and carefully leaned his instrument against the bench he'd been sitting on and put down his bow. "It's a vitula, I believe it's quite close to a Terran cello...And I stopped because I'm quite stuck on how to get to the next part in the piece," bright red splotches were high on his face by his eyes when he met Keith's gaze as he said this, even the rims of his ears were red.

Keith was taken aback, it was one thing to play beautifully but to have been writing such a beautiful, heartbreaking piece of music. "You wrote that piece of music, it's..." Keith looked down at his feet, his tongue failing him by not giving him a word good enough to express what he thought of the piece. "It was a good piece," he said looking back up feeling an inadequate critic. "That's not what I meant..."

"It wasn't a good piece?" Holder said, his mouth twitching a the corner.

Keith sighed and shook his head. "Of course, it was better than that...really. I'm, uh..." he stammered, wanting to disappear back out into the hall, what had he'd been thinking. Oh right, that the music was beautiful, haunting, amazing and he had to find the source. "I did after all invade your privacy to find out its source. You are talented, Prince Holder and I must apologize again."

The Prince ran a hand through his dark hair and shook his head, the splotches of red on his fair skin and the rims of his ears still bright. "No, no, I am quite flattered that you were so drawn to my silly little piece... Thank you, Commander."

"It's not silly, I should leave you to keep working..." Keith started to turn.

"Commander," Holder called out.

"Yes."

"I wanted too, I wanted to clear the air about the Princess and yesterday. I think I know what made her run off and I think... I don't," he bent down and picked up the bow for his vitula. "I uh, the thing is... I let something slip out."

"Yes, that you are gay," Keith said, feeling sorry for the Prince. "She realized you didn't mean to say anything out loud, she won't tell anyone but Lance about what happened. He only told me to... He only told me to make me feel more ashamed about something."

"I...well, okay then... I am unsure what her reaction is exactly. I feel that it wasn't truly about me, but I... Are she and Lieutenant McClain together, by chance?"

"What! No, no, that would be..." Keith trailed off, his heart hammering in his chest. He didn't even want to picture it to know what that would be... good, bad, awful, or worse right for them both? His Lance and Allura. Beautiful sweet, innocent young Allura with his crass, crude and crazy Lance? Keith shook his head again. "No. Why would you think that?"

"It was just the way he ran after her. And I was.. well I was..."

Keith felt a flare of possession rise up, he'd felt it then too, he'd barely noticed Allura scream because he'd angry at the sight of Prince Holder looking at Lance's ass. It'd been ridiculous, it was ridiculous now. "Yes, I know... I was too..." Keith muttered.

"Oh, so you and..."

"No," Keith said, to sharply, because it hurt, it always hurt to say he wasn't with Lance. "Uh, no. Lance and I aren't together, we're only friends. I don't know why I said that out loud," Keith ran a hand through his hair, feeling awkward, hot and uncomfortable where he stood, despite the soft nice breeze out on the balcony.

Holder nodded. "I don't mean to pry. I just wanted to be sure I didn't truly upset the Princess, or step on anything..."

Keith sighed. "What you stepped on was, she likes you, you're not obnoxious, you aren't smug and you don't paw at her. These qualities are not something she's ever seen before in a Prince. She was thinking of telling Coran that you were a possibility for her to be betrothed too... not that she really wanted too but she felt she had too."

"I understand the feeling."

"When she realized you were gay, by over hearing you, it hit a nerve with her and she fled."

"A nerve?"

"She had recently proposed to me," Keith admitted, scratching the back of his neck in a nervous, guilty habit.

Laughter followed, a bellow from Holder's stomach, almost musical like his instrument and Keith looked at the Prince and saw how he shook with it. "Uh, she didn't know you were gay?"

Sighing, Keith rolled his eyes. "I may have put off letting her know."

Prince Holder grew serious. "But why would you do that?"

"That is something, I am being currently punished for, Prince Holder, believe me. I do hope that one day she'll forgive me." Keith heard himself say and was beginning to wonder why his tongue was being so lose with the personal facts.

"I hope she does. I will endeavor to let her know that...I take it, she is still hoping to find someone to truly love?"

Keith had to think about that question, he wasn't sure what was going on Allura's mind right now. If she was talking to anyone it was Lance, but he wasn't sure how deep her confiding went with Lance. Lance wouldn't break her trust anyway. "I, well... I don't know. I know she wants that happily ever after, I may have really shattered that innocent dream."

Holder nodded. "I only ask because well, despite my preferences, my family is insistent I wed a woman..." he looked down at his feet. "As my older is the Crown Prince, I would be on the planet I wed too... Arus is beautiful, Allura is a wonderful young woman... As you said she believes of me, she is a rarity among princesses."

Keith smiled, nodded. "I believe that."

"Yes. But I won't discuss the idea with her, unless you think she'd be open to it?"

Keith shook his head. "No," he knew now, without question, Allura wouldn't, couldn't... and not because of only herself. "She would never want to stop you from finding love, anymore than herself."

"Yes, I thought as much, she does deserve better than a loveless marriage."

Keith stared at the Prince in front of him. "As do you."

Holder gave a sad smile. "Thank you, Commander Kogane,

Keith nodded and then gave another nod of goodbye, as he walked away the music started again and he realized he now knew why the piece had such a broken haunting tone to it and maybe why Prince Holder was having trouble reaching the part when it turned over completely to hope.

At Holder's door, he leaned against the wall in hallway, keeping the door a bit open like he'd found it and listened to the Prince play, and work on the piece for another hour until he had to drag himself away for duty's sake.

~~.~~

Allura was in the recreation room, reading a book on a chair in the corner by the windows, that looked out toward the forests where Green Lion's den lay. Keith swallowed when he walked in, he'd been looking for Hunk, or Pidge... Someone to talk too without having to walk on eggshells for few moments. The sun was shining through the windows behind her, haloing her in an aura of gold, matching the shade of her hair. It illuminated the image of her that was always in Keith's head, a true real innocent Princess straight from the picture perfect fairy tales where all the grim sadness had been edited out...

The stories made by media for children, not the real tales that were harsher, that told of harder, realistic life lessons... Keith shook his head. He'd liked ideals, innocence, he liked reaching for a grand beautiful future where nothing would be darkened by something cruel or wrong.

After Zarkon killing her family, he'd hurt the hardest by lying and pulling an idealist perfect fantasy out from under her, Keith reminded himself. Him. The one who wanted her to have it as much - if not more than she did - himself. He stood unsure, near the doorway, wondering if he should stay in the room or leave. It was odd to find Allura in here, reading, she usually was only in the recreation room if she was joining them for a movie or a game night. No one else was about, he looked around, there seemed to be no signs of anyone else showing up. Allura herself seemed entranced by whatever it was she was reading, Keith started to turn and walk out when he heard Allura say his name.

"Keith?"

Keith sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you." _I keep disturbing people today_, he thought.

She was tense now he saw, she'd been reading, relaxed, comfortable, curled on the chair, looking beautiful and relaxed and now she was all tense. She frowned, sat up and looked at him, quiet for a long time. Then she said. "I'm hiding from Prince Chandler," she said. "He wouldn't dare come in here, where the 'help'" Her nose wrinkled up as she mimicked the derisive way Prince Chandler called them help, then she rolled her eyes. "I almost punched him in the nose, so I made up an excuse, took off and came in here."

Keith couldn't help but laugh, he knew she was capable of punching him in the nose. He'd taught her how, after all. That she would use that skill, or be tempted to use that skill on a man like Prince Chandler - wasn't surprising per se. Allura had a temper, she was strong, and outspoken when it was called for but still when he saw her as she was now. In a pink dress, her tiara on her long beautifully brushed hair... He could only see a Princess. Princesses and nose punches...

Was he being unfair? Had he let his worry about hurting her underestimate her like he does in so many other situations where she always rose above what he thought and then he would admit he already knew she could. He was always proud, never really shocked. It was always more about his own noble and silly notions of who she was supposed to be.

"Prince Chandler is easy to want to punch, Princess," Keith said, unsure of what else to do or say around her. He missed talking with her, about anything, about nothing. She was his closest friend here beside Lance. And right now he couldn't speak to either one of them because he loved Lance, Lance loved her, and he broke Allura's heart.

"I'm afraid Lance might kill him."

That was worrisome. "What?"

"Well, since you guys volunteered to be chaperones. He was with us today, he helped me escape. Chandler for some reason, decided to be unbelievably rude and bring up all the things that make Princes more superior than mere pilots. Riches, the amount of skills they taught and possess compared with the lack of skills civilians know. He went on and on and on and on... he just kept rubbing his so called superiority into Lance's nose. I do not understand why? If I thought Chandler had a brain, I'd think it was because he knows Lance and the rest of you all better than him and he's jealous. But that seems unlikely..." she bit her lip, shaking her head.

Chandler didn't need a brain to pick up jealousy, Keith thought, Lance vibed it whenever he was around anyone who had permission to touch Allura. Who dared to touch Allura. Who looked at Allura. Who was here with express permission to court Allura and Chandler had the gall to talk to her like the marriage was set in stone. Keith sighed. It was a wonder he hadn't been called in yet to find out Lance had killed the Prince.

"Uh, do you know where Lance is now?"

Allura shook her head. "No. He was muttering things under his breath, walked off kind of fast after shooting me that smile of his..." she smiled a little bit. "You know the one, half cocky, half I know I'm not fooling you but gonna try...he wasn't heading inside that's all I know."

He'd gone to the Elemental, Keith realized, the question was was he looking for a bar fight or for something else all together. Either way, Keith didn't like it, a bar fight just wasn't a great idea when they had Royal guests around and were trying to protect Allura. Lance knew it too, just because he couldn't punch Chandler... And the other thing, damn it...if Lance wouldn't be with him because he loved Allura...

Keith clenched his fist. "I have to go find him, excuse me Allura."

"Okay," Allura said, sounding way to relieved he was going to leave her be. Keith clenched his jaw to go along with his fists and sighed. He was about to stalk out of the Castle when the klaxons went off.

He heard Allura's book hit the floor, then the both of them were running straight for the control room. Coran was already telling Hunk and Pidge that it was clearly another Robeast attack and Lotor. The Robest was way too close to Aan for Keith's taste from what he could see. He yelled at them to get to the Lions and called Lance on his comm. unit.

"You better be.."

"On my way," Lance yelled, finishing the sentence.

"What were doing?"

"I wanted a fight."

"Well, you got one," Keith barked.

"Yeah, not really the kind I wanted..." he could hear Lance's feet against the dirt of the road. "I'll get to Red soon as I can."

"Yeah, hurry it up, McClain," Keith barked, pissed.

~~.~

There was awareness and before then, there had been nothing...nothing at all. Keith groaned his hands going to where there was a numb pain, he felt a knot of hair matted with dried blood. He knew the sensation under the pad of his fingers. It wasn't something he liked recognizing. Where was he? It was dark, he tried to move more, to feel around him but hands circled his wrists. He started to fight but a voice followed.

"Keith? Keith?"

Allura?

She was close, he could smell her now, the clean vanilla soap she used and her sweat. It was there, faint because around them was the smell of dank dirty filth. Keith tried to move again, where were they, why could he see her.

"Keith, please? Are you waking up? Please be waking up?"

_I am awake_. He meant to say it but he didn't, he realized then he was aware but not fully awake. He couldn't see because his eyes weren't open. He fought to open them, they didn't want too, his head hurt, it was numb, it'd been bleeding.

Then it was a sharp, hard pain when his eyes opened, Allura was over him, touching his face looking scared and worried. There were two of her for the longest time, with messy hair and a torn uniform, and they were in a cell that could only have been located on Doom.

"Keith," she breathed in relief.

_At least she finally happy to see me_, he thought dryly.


	7. Chapter 7 All the Awkward Feelings

**Notes: **Since I started this Birthday Fic, Melody and Harmony have had their birthdays, Mother's Day and Melody had her baby boy! Woohoo. Congratulations. Consider this a EVERYTHING FIC!

7. All the Awkward Feelings

It was taking too long.

Lance gritted his teeth, his hands clutched he controls of Red, his body was a taut line in his seat ready to bound out of it at any moment despite the fact he was in space. Waiting. Pidge had been gone fifteen minutes; Green lion's head should be showing back up on his sensors now. Not any second. Not soon. Now.

Where was he? Lance growled.

"Little buddy, he'll be flying back any second now with the intel we need," Hunk's voice came over the line; deceptively calm.

"Now. He should be here..."

"There he is," Hunk announced. "See, now like you said, Lance."

Lance didn't feel relieved. He wouldn't until he knew what they could do, until he knew they could down to Doom and rescue Keith and Allura. _Allura_, his stomach twisted into tighter knots, if that son of a bastard touched her. If Lotor hurt her he would kill him slow. Slow, and with pain, a lot of pain. Maybe he'd use a rusty, dull knife, drag it out for months because hurting Allura, hurting Allura...

_I've got to get a grip_.

_Allowing your feelings to override your ability to think clearly right now would be inappropriate. You must be able to lead._

Lance swallowed, saw that Green had Its head attached. "Pidge, report," he ordered.

Pidge started to speak about what his scans of the surface of Doom, near where Castle Doom itself stood had shown him. He'd focused on the areas they knew from hard experience that captured prisoners were kept, where Zarkon threw his slaves and where they knew women were surrogated at times.

The constant shudder that had been rolling through him since Lotor had grabbed Allura and Keith, blazed through Lance again. He took in everything Pidge told him, the odds were highly against them - as always. There was no clear plan, there was no save plan, there was no way they should be doing this.

"We're going in," he said, he took a breath and told Pidge and Hunk what he was thinking. It boiled down to.

"So, guys you okay with this?"

"It seems to be the most optimal plan we have," Pidge said.

Lance watched Hunk nod his head on the view screen, he swallowed over the lump in his throat and put all his effort into sounding confident. "Then Operation Wing-It is a go; let's go in. Pidge you think you can scramble their sensors just long enough for us to land, without tipping them off..."

"I think so..."

"Then go for it at the last possible second, I want as narrow a window as possible, less change of them knowing it us..."

Lance lead the Green and Yellow lion towards Doom, heart in his mouth having him tasting fear, he was praying to a God he barely believed in the hopes he could save the two most important people in his life.

~~.~~

It felt dirtier every time he pulled on a Drule uniform, yet he could never say it wasn't needed. Hunk was staying behind in Yellow, for fire power when they came running out. Lance and Pidge were now dressed as the enemy, helmets hiding their alien features. Pidge's outfit was too big, but he was managing to make it work for him, moving with his usual ninja grace throughout the cave-like halls of Castle Doom.

Lance pointed left toward one cell block, hand on his blaster to tell Pidge to shoot first if he ran into any trouble. Pidge nodded and ran down the left hallway, Lance moved toward the right, looking into every cell. Feeling sick that he was hear to only to save two people, with every group of emaciated prisoners his eyes fell on. His stomach twisting, bile flying up his throat at how fundamentally wrong it was to be putting Allura and Keith ahead of everyone else...

Yet they were Allura and Keith, his best friends, his family and the commander of Voltron Force and the Princess of Arus. They held a power that was more than who they were as simple people, they were needed out there fighting. But they weren't more important than the people who looked up to them for courage and fight.

He had keys to the cells, and before he thought it through - perhaps because of it - Lance was unlocking every cell he passed. Pushing the doors open, and telling them in harsh whispers where they'd find the three Lions, relying on the fact that Hunk would just find a way to get them all in the Lions, somehow if they made it out there.

Not all the prisoners took the chance, too wary, too harmed from time in these cells to trust some crazy man dressed as a Drule telling them they had a chance at freedom - a slim chance at best. But some did, and they left quickly.

Lance then hurried in the opposite direction looking for Allura and Keith. It wasn't until the last cell down the last cavernous hall he sped down: far under the ground, smaller than others and full of empty cells, until he found the one where he heard voices whispering about a plan when someone came to take Keith to the arena.

The arena, Lance swallowed the bile in his throat and thanked the God he barely believed in again that they'd gotten there in time. He called out a code word that the team had been using since they were sneaking back into the dorms at the Academy after curfew to let Keith know it was him and not a guard. He heard Allura gasp in fear, but Keith said his name and Allura whispered out an Arusian prayer of thanks.

Opening the door, he hurriedly took off the helmet he was wearing and grinned at them. "Wanna a ride back to Arus?"

Allura tackled him, in a hug that really needed to wait until later, but he wrapped his arms around her anyway, tighter than he ever had before and pulled her into him. "Shh," he whispered feeling her sobbing, "We gotta get out here first and I probably have made them onto us by now."

Keith, who looked relieved to see him, looked at him warily. "What did you do?"

Lance sighed and held up the keys. "Opened every cell I went by,"

"Oh, Lance," Allura whispered in his ear, sounding impressed.

Keith groaned, shook his head but his mouth twitched in a slight smile that Lance knew from experience was a very irritated, conflicted one. "That was...noble...but...well..." Keith's idealism couldn't allow himself to argue the point, even if there was no way they weren't going to walk out into Doom soldiers trying to round up all the escapees.

"Let's get out of here."

Lance nodded, picked up his communication device and broke the radio silence he and Pidge had been keeping. "Got 'em, get back to Hunk, by the way caused a prison break out."

Pidge's answer didn't give away anything. "Optimal. On my way back to the Lions, eyes open."

This was of course when the crap hit the fan. Slaves versus Drule Guards, rocks versus lazon blasters, spears versus fists and desperation. Lance led Keith and Allura right into it, not realizing until he it was time to start fighting that Allura's hand was gripped in his left hand as he raised his right with the blaster in it. She let go of his hand and he used his left arm to push her behind him, Keith jumped into the fray; Lance didn't worry knowing he'd find a weapon or be the weapon.

"Stick with me," he ordered Allura.

"I'm scared," she admitted but he heard determination in her voice.

"You'll be fine, we go toward the right, okay?"

"Okay," she said.

Lance forced himself not to glance back at her, keeping his eyes on the battle in front of him. He let out a few shots, killing two guards who were about to take down two slaves. The slaves grabbed their blasters. Lance nodded, and pushed Allura into the middle of them and shouted at Keith. "Cheif!" As they ran in the direction they had come in to get out, to get to the Lions.

Keith broke the neck of the huge guard he was fighting, grabbing weapons and ran over to them, his hand grabbing Allura's shoulder and handing her a lazon blaster. Lance pushed her forward as she hesitated a moment holding it, grabbing her by the waist and whispering in her ear, "You are a soldier, Princess."

"How are we going to fit the people who make it into the lions," Keith muttered, but Lance didn't bother to answer him. He was too busy shooting, trying to get rid of as many Drules as he could from a far range to help their chances in getting out.

Keith ran ahead, to do the close quarters thing, blaster in his pants, using his hands and feet as the lethal weapons they were. Lance kept grabbing at Allura with his free hand, pulling her closer, or pushing her away when he needed to...or yelling at her to shoot, kick, or punch when needed.

Allura held her own, she had no choice but to work through her fear and hesitation and all their training kicked in, and she was able to fight the guards well and shoot even better. She always had a great eye for a target Lance thought proudly as they met with Pidge, who was quickly taking out Drules more than half a foot bigger than him by being swifter and craftier than they could possibly be, using his almost endless supply of shiruken.

Once outside, not that one could tell the difference between in and out on Doom, the air was disgusting and crappy everywhere on the crap planet, Yellow Lion fired cover fire and there was a trickle of slaves running to the Lions with the three of them. Lance pulled Allura into Red with him, he didn't know where Keith was until he was yelling orders from behind Pidge on the view screen in Green.

"No one else is coming out, lets get out of here, now!" Keith yelled and then they were in the air, fighting off the air attack. Lance had the vague thought that there might be a robeast and they were two lions short but somehow there wasn't one and the three lions were safely on their way back to Arus. Allura safe behind him, a dozen slaves rescued in each lion.

Lance finally let himself breathe.

~~.~~

He landed Red outside the Castle and opened the mouth hatch to let out the prisoners inside with him and Allura; voicing the direction rather than getting up to help. He was too tense from the rescue. He was too wrecked from all the terror he'd felt it would all go wrong and to have it go right. It felt surreal.

Lance's body was bowed over the controls the emotion overwhelming him now that he was back on Arus. That they were back on Arus; he, Keith and Allura. He'd been angry with Keith for hurting Allura despite knowing that Keith hadn't meant too, that Keith couldn't chance who he was anymore than Lance could change the man he'd been to be. He'd been in over protect mode about Allura as it was from Keith, with that disgusting Prince Chandler all over her the day of the attack. He'd almost punched the bastard more than once that day, he'd been late to the fight because he'd been halfway out to a dive bar to pick a fight to get it out of his system...

They may not have been caught otherwise... Allura's hand was on his shoulder, her voice soft in his ear. "Lance, are you okay, are you hurt?"

He spun, out of his seat, around grabbing her by her shoulders, shaking her - too hard probably - staring at her. "No, no, _Are you okay_? Were you hurt? Did that bastard touch you?" he asked. His eyes taking her in seeing every tear in her uniform, every fly-a-away hair from her bun, the dirt on her face, her arms, scratches and blood. His hands went to where ever there was red, tracing it down and back up again just to make sure it they were only surface wounds.

"I was scared, but I'm okay. Keith was hurt more, his head. It wouldn't stop bleeding for the longest time, then he wouldn't wake up...was so scared," she said, her voice breaking. "If anything happened to him and he thought I hadn't forgive..." she broke off.

Lance wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him, feeling her warm, safe, her heart pounding against his chest where he had pressed against him. Letting go his hands went to her face, grabbing it between his palms, and staring into her blue-blue eyes the exact shade of the Arusian azure sky. Before he knew what he was doing he was kissing her.

She opened her mouth in surprised, and he pushed his lips plush against hers, tongue invading in, pouring everything he'd been feeling while she'd been gone that he couldn't explain into it. Until her hands went to his uniform pulling at his collar for the briefest of seconds before she lowered them to push at his chest.

"Lance?" she half yelped and asked.

He pulled away, shocked at what he'd done and having no damn excuse. All his reasons began and ended with loving her. "I..." he babbled, realizing he was still holding her head between his hands.

She was staring at him wide eyed, her face a study in what shock. Her mouth open and she kept working it trying to say something, or ask him something. Lance kept willing her too because he had no clue what the hell to do now that he'd done this. What the fuck had he done? Fuck?

Then Nanny and Coran descended, and his arms were empty because Allura was being herded out between them in a flurry of shrewish love and affable gentlemanly care. Lance stood in Red and then turned back and fell back into his cockpit chair and let his head hit the steering.

_I do not think that was thought-out, well. My friend,_ Red rumbled in his head.

"What did I do? What did I..." Lance kept hitting his head against the steering.

_You pressed your lips against the Princess's something you have daydreamed about in here quite often. Though in your imagination it goes on quite longer and ends up with removal of clothin-_

"Red!"

_This is something you have wanted._

"No. Not like this, never like this...I wanted her see me like she sees Keith. I want to be the man she dreams about, longs for and...It doesn't matter Red. What has happened was wrong, I forced that on her because I wasn't thinking.

_You were frightened and relieved, passionate in your feelings for Princess. You reacted as any Animal would._

"I'm a man, Red. Allura deserves a man not an animal...Lotor is an animal, Chandler that douchebag is an animal."

_Yes, but you are a only a man, with primal needs and emotions and you care. Being harsh on yourself is unfair when the moment was about love._

Lance shook his head, he felt antsy, wrong and unworthy. "I've got to get out here, I'll return you to the volcano later," he muttered and he took off, running, and didn't stop trying to get rid of the adrenaline and fear from prior to the rescue and the craziness that'd cause him to kiss Allura.

_What had he'd just done._

~~.~~

An hour later he stepped out of his bathroom, towel around his waist to find Keith sitting on his bed. He'd been about to go up to the medical wing to check and see if Keith was okay. It'd been pretty obvious he had a wound before Allura had told him.

"You have been to Gorma, right?" Lance asked, walking over to his dresser.

"Where have you been?"

"I, uh, had to take a run."

"A run?"

"Around the lake," Lance said.

"Allura told me."

Lance pulled out a pair of black boxer shorts and stepped into them before letting the towel drop to the floor. He turned around, crossing his arms defensively across his chest. "She told you what?"

"What happened."

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

Keith leveled him with a hard stare, dark eyes meeting brown ones, Lance felt panic and shame rise up again and he looked away, walked over to his bed and sat down next to Keith. "So, guess she's forgiven you."

"That isn't the point."

"She was hurt, really hurt, I mean that she's talking to you again is good. Crapass way to speed up the process. How is your head, what did they say in Medbay?"

"You kissed her," Keith said, accusingly and more than a little hurt. Keith ducked his head, schooled his features and then looked back up, his gaze level, commanding, he wasn't Keith the man right now he was Keith the commander who had taken an oath to protect Allura. "You kissed Allura, a young girl who has recently been hurt about love. It was stupid and rash..." Keith sighed the man who knew him so well, almost too well, coming back. "Damn it Lance, you told me you wouldn't be stupid and you kiss her out of the blue like that? After she's been capture, scared and freaked out for almost a full day?"

Lance fell backwards, letting his upper body slam fully onto his bed. "I didn't think it through."

Keith laid back too, wincing slightly, Lance reached out and put his hand in Keith's hair feeling out the knot, where their were stitches. Keith leaned into his touch, eyes closing, Lance sighed and let go abruptly.

Keith blew out a long breath of air.

"Concussion?" Lance asked.

"Yeah, mild one, nothing bad. She didn't mean to tell me, I don't think she was checking in on me and I think she was so surprised..." Keith shook his head. "We, she, we talked some things out in the cell. She forgives me and wants to be friends but everything is still on shaky ground. Wounds are too fresh."

Lance grunted a bit to answer. "I'm glad she's coming around, she was miserable not being able to talk to you about things. You're her best friend. I don't think I was cutting it," Lance sat up got off his bed, walked into his bathroom, and started to brush his teeth.

He could feel Keith's eyes on him the whole time, and as he brushed his teeth felt combination of emotions he just did not want to deal with, all he wanted to do was sleep and face things tomorrow. He'd apologize to Allura, for kissing her against her will, it was the right thing to do, he'd had no right to cross such a line.

As for Keith, ignoring that elephant was all he could do; he walked back out and nudged Keith by kicking his foot lightly with his toes. "Need my bed to sleep in it."

Keith nodded and stood up. "Apolo-"

"Already forming the words in my head, Keith. We'll talk about what happened with Lotor tomorrow at the morning meeting?"

Keith nodded. "Yes, I'll debrief you guys, you'll debrief me," Keith said then for some reason he blushed deeply, his hands fumbled with the doorknob and Lance found himself walk overand opening the door for him.

Keith swallowed and walked out.

Lance sighed. Things were going to be awkward for way too long.


	8. Chapter 8 Declaration

8. Declaration

Allura's brain was buzzing.

Buzzing with too many feelings and so many thoughts. Overwhelmed by it all that at times it felt outside of herself; as she remembered it was happening to somebody else, not her Princess Allura of Arus.

She'd been full of the heartache of Keith crushing her with the simple truth he could never love her the way she'd always wished he would for weeks. That in and of itself was hard enough. The betrayal that he did not tell her years earlier, a month earlier, a week sooner - that he didn't tell her before she opened herself up and put her fantasy out there to become real... She'd been so certain.

It'd burst like a balloon. Air swooshing out and taking all her oxygen with it. Allura hugged her knees to her chin. She sat on a rock somewhere deep in the Castle's gardens. She'd been unable to sleep.

The day had started with her overwhelmed - as usual - but trying to take steps forward with Keith. Promising herself to try, she didn't like how her anger made her feel. She didn't like how the pain made her cry so easily and made her want to run away. Making things worse, she'd had to spend the morning with Prince Chandler with Lance as their chaperone and the tension, to understate it, had been intense.

Chandler and Lance did not get along.

Chandler seemed to think it was his duty to remind Lance he was nothing but a pilot. Lance's anger seemed to escalate every time Chandler tried to touch her and she'd ask him to not too which he'd ignore her. This would force Lance to step in on her behalf starting the whole circle of insults to repeat itself. Allura shuddered just thinking about Prince Chandler. She hated him, she was grateful that soon she could tell Coran she preferred Prince Holder - though nothing would ever happen between her and the more gentle Prince. Were all the good ones gay?

The morning with Chandler had left her feeling icky, tense, and hating her station and Lance... Lance had stalked off once the second Chandler was out of Allura's space. She had wanted to talk to him to tell that he shouldn't listen to anything that dolt said about him - though she wasn't sure that was the reason he was upset. She was flattered Lance was so protective of her. Guilt rushed her as she thought about it, Lance had always been as protective of her as Keith and yet she'd never given him his due for it. Only a time or two for truly grand heroic actions. The same with Pidge, Hunk and even Sven for that short time he was with them here on Arus. Keith wasn't her her only Hero, even if he was her main one. She needed to remember that, she needed to not take for granted how lucky she was to have great brave amazing friends like the boys. Lance especially she thought, unconsciously touching her lips, a warm shiver rushing down her spine causing a rush of gooseflesh that then made her shiver in the night air.

No more taking her friends for granted.

After the morning with Chandler, Keith found her in the rec room. She made an effort to talk to talk with him civily. It was much harder than she'd expected it to be, she kept looking at him at his dark eyes and his thick hair. His face, listening to his voice and noticing his hands. Thinking this is Keith, my Hero, My fantasy. He's supposed to be my happy ever after.

Then the alarm went off... and she crashed during the fight because Lotor had his army slam Blue. The boys tried to get in the way, Keith landed during the fight, because Lotor had grabbed her out of her lion, she was caught and terrified; she panicked and forgot all her training. She hated herself a bit for that. She remembers seeing Keith running towards her and Lotor, a blaster in both his hands, then there is nothing. Not until she woke up in the cell, finding Keith with her. And he was bleeding, and she couldn't wake him up.

She'd poked him, shook him as gently as she could while moving enough to wake him, shouted his name as loud as she dared in the cell - afraid to call the Drule guards - but Keith hadn't woken. Allura remembered how afraid she was, it rose bile in her throat now, made her eyes sting with tears, she hugged her knees to her chin tightly, hands linked together white knuckle tight. She'd stopped trying to wake Keith for awhile afraid of calling Lotor. She shuddered at the memories of him grabbing her from her Lion, prattling on about making her his bride.

Once she'd held a gun to her head when he'd given the same speech, and she would have pulled the trigger to stop him. Death was better than allowing that Drule bastard to touch her. To ever touch her.

They had no weapons in the cell but rocks and bones on the floor. The bones made her queasy, they were the bones of slaves - how many were Arusian? She'd almost choked on the bile from her stomach more than once while inside the cell.

While Keith was silent and her terror had her shaking, she didn't know what to do, what could she do? She watched Keith breathing, sleeping, managed to stop his blood. Kept trying to wake him now and again when she couldn't stand the silence. All the while thinking about how much he mattered to her.

Her fantasy, her love, her wishes...maybe they'd been dreams of a girl who didn't understand the whole picture but they were true. Keith was her friend. He understood her. Her ideals for giving her citizens peace, and helping them to rebuild their homes, their farms, their livelihoods. He understood she believed in doing what was right at all costs, over anything else. She could lean on him when Nanny or Coran got to be too much, when her dual life as Princess and Voltron Force team member got to be too much. They could talk for hours about her history lessons, philosophy lessons and diplomacy...he helped her put things in better perspective. Keith made her a better Princess.

Maybe he wouldn't be her husband, but as her friend he could help her be a better Queen. She would have to learn to get past her selfish desires first, her own wants and needs. Can she be only his friend?

One thing Allura did know as she sat on the rock, she could forgive him for not telling her the truth sooner, she already had in that cell. But forgiving and moving past the pain were two different things she thought.

These things had raced through her mind in that cell. She didn't even realize she'd forgiven him only knew she knew that might be able to forgive him. When his eyes opened and she saw the dark chocolate of the, that was when she knew for sure. He was Keith, her hero, her best friend. She forgave him. The hardest part was Allura knew she never would have forgiven herself if something had happened to him before she realized the truth. Of her ability to forgive, of the true want to move past this obstacle, her heartache. If she had lost someone else she loved so much without being able to say goodbye, I love you one last time, and most important of all I forgive you...

She'd also like to say someday, _Keith I'm not angry anymore._

Allura wanted to tell him what she could say then, only Keith didn't let her say anything. He was in commander mode, checking his injury, diagnosing himself with a bad concussion. He asked her how long they'd been in there, she told him so many heart beats - funny she couldn't remember the count now, but then she'd known the exact number. She'd been counting her heartbeats, everyone while at the same time being terrified to her core.

He went to the cell door, testing its hinges, and peering out through the bars. Then he had them move to the furtherest corner from the door, telling her the actual time she'd counted out...he calculated her heartbeats into time without even thinking. Didn't even blink that that was how she'd counted the time.

As they sat against a lumpy wall, she spilled out her apology, her forgiveness. Her fear and he held her as she cried unable not to, she was so terrified. She shook and shook. He apologized again for not telling her the truth from the moment they met and allowing his sexuality to remain a secret between them. When it never should've been. He'd been out of the closet - she still had to ask abut that phrasing, what did closets have to do with homosexuality - since he was fifteen years old.

He shouldn't have lied to her, even to protect her feelings, in fact protecting her was all the more reason to tell her the truth. He told her he'd allowed other motives to cloud his judgement and they hadn't been very noble or pure. He regretted them and was ashamed of them.

Then she'd been too scared to focus much on his last statements, but now curiosity rose inside of her. Keith was a good person, what reasons would he have to keep from telling her he couldn't love her back the way she wished - that weren't based on good intentions? It baffled her.

Shortly after their conversation a Drule minion of Lotor's had come in. With three of his own behind them, two of them grabbed Keith, holding him while he and the other kicked him and punched him a few times. Then delivered the rest of Lotor's message.

_You'll be taken to the Arena in a few hours, you'll face five Robeasts on your own, without weapon, The Princess will watch you die and know you are no Hero. Then Prince Lotor will claim his bride._

She threw up then, before the Drules left, they'd all laughed as Keith went to her and held her, not worrying about his own pain. It made her heart ache, thinking about it, Keith was so good, so amazing, a true gentleman and hero. Keith.

Then Lance showed up.

Her hand went to her lips without thought, once again and a strange shiver shot down her spine. The same one that floated through her when he'd kissed her. He kissed her. Allura didn't know what to do with that.

Lance kissed her.

He'd shown up in the cell, wearing a Drule outfit, he'd looked ridiculous, he was smirking, but his eyes were dark, serious, intent. She'd never been more happy to see him. Her hand had ended up glued to his. Lance was her protecter on the way out and she'd felt perfectly safe.

He pushed her when needed, she'd found her feet and remembered her training - wasn't enough to make her feel better for her earlier panic, however - and when she was in trouble, he'd been right there with his blaster. Yet, mostly what she remember was his strong arms: tactile, pushing, pulling, wrapping and then they were Red Lion.

Listening to Keith's orders from Green and then home. Where Lance seemed to collapse in on himself. He was bent over the steering, broad shoulders seemed pointed inward, his head was bowed downed. She'd walked up to him, put her hand one of his shoulders squeezed, asking if he was okay. She was worried he'd been hurt in the escape, they'd been so out numbered. He'd spun on her then, touching her, staring into her eyes asking about her.

All about her. Touching her again. Lance always touching.

Her fear rushed back. Her guilt for being so angry with Keith for something he couldn't help, even if he should have been more honest...she shook her head trying to clear it and then stared back at Lance and...

She shivered again, a strange warm-cold tremble she's never felt before. Eyes closed, she can feel his lips against hers once again.

A kiss is something she doesn't know how to process. From Lance ever less so.

She hadn't processed it at all in the moment. She'd froze, then she'd freaked and then they were staring at each other, Lance looked like a bunny caught in the garden. Wanting to run away but staying still instead. Allura had been about to try to ask about why he'd done that, at least she thinks - she's not sure. She might have been about to run away herself - maybe she was the bunny.

But Nanny and Coran had suddenly descended.

She'd left Lance, still as a statue in Red.

Why had he done that? Where had that come from? She doesn't...what... she doesn't know how she feels about it even?

Shouldn't she be mad? Shouldn't she feel invaded, pushed, grabbed?

Why doesn't she?

Was it adrenaline, is she so overwhelmed with everything else she can't process anything else out of her norm? Anything new, anything that is out of her depth? And a kiss is out of her depth.

No one has ever touched her like that.

Allura's cheeks flamed hot, remembering she'd blurted it out to Keith, Keith had looked mad. He was having the reaction she thinks she should be having. He'll probably shout at Lance. Allura shakes her head. She shouldn't have told Keith. It just came out of her. She was hovering over him, feeling worried about his concussion, his bruises. Happy they were home, glad to be able to look at him, talk to him. Even with her heart still aching and she felt almost guilty about Lance kissing her. How did that make sense? She hadn't done anything to ask for that? She hadn't wanted it? It'd been so unexpected.

Why was she so spun? So spun she just blurted out to Keith Lance kissed her, and it was weird and she didn't know what to do with it and why would he do that. Keith had stayed relatively silent. Only said he'd talk to him.

Had a strange dark look in his eyes, Allura didn't understand.

Allura wondered if someday she'd ever have a grip on things, and understand enough that she didn't feel overwhelmed by all the emotions rushing through her like fire through a forest.

~~.~~

She was still outside when the sun began to rise. Part of her knew she should get up from where she was sitting and head to her room, but she couldn't.

Allura bit her lip. She'd summarized the events in her head a million times over,; from the moment Keith broke her heart to how fearing for her life had placed everything in perspective. Forgiving him was easier now, even if it wasn't finished. She hurt, her heart ached, he was Keith and she loved him, she would always, but she could face it now.

She could accept it for what it was going to be. Keith was a hero, it wasn't a fantasy it was a fact. Allura was lucky to know true men, true heroes, real gentlemen. It helped to see the frauds like Prince Chandler, and the loathsome like Prince Lotor for what they truly were.

Her life was blessed as much as it had been decimated. For all her losses, even for the fact she'd been orphaned. She was lucky. She'd been protected, she had a home, a bed, walls and family in Coran, Nanny and now her teammates. She had a hero she could always count on, who was her friend.

She had more than one.

As often as she'd gone over in her head, processing the steps she'd made toward forgiving Keith. Allura had touched her lips and recounted Lance's touch twice as often. Eyes closing, that odd unknown warm-cold shiver. Her lack of anger, her complete confusion.

"Allura!" The voice startled her, she shivered as she looked up, the sky lighter than it'd been a moment ago, clouds spotting the sky; it looked like it would be another beautiful day, as it was so often. Another way she was blessed, she lived in a moderate climate where the weather didn't wreck havoc on the world around her. The war did that enough she thought, eyes narrowing in both anger and sadness.

"Allura!" The voice sounded again, she recognized it this time. It was Lance, yelling, his footsteps were in her ears now as well. He was getting closer. She didn't understand, she stood up and walked toward him.

"Allura!" she heard again.

"I'm here," she called, confused by the shouting, why was he outside at this hour, shouting her name.

He rounded the bend in the path she was on then, he shook his head when he saw her. "Have you been out here all night?"

Allura shrugged. "I guess, I was thinking, I lost track of time, why?"

He stared at her a moment and then laughed, his head going back baring the length of his throat a husky deep laugh flowing out so full of life and zeal. She smiled, finding it contagious, she always did, and she laughed too, though she didn't know why.

"Allura, God, what I am going to do with you?" He asked, reaching out and grabbing her hand pulling her to him, then turning them toward the Castle.

She let him for a few minutes, but when she saw the walls of the Castle come into view she stopped. "No, I don't want to go inside, not yet."

"What?"

"I just...don't want to go inside. What's wrong with that?" She asked.

Lance shrugged. "Nothing except everyone is looking for you, and Nanny is going to asphyxiate from the shrewish shrieking she is doing if you aren't found soon."

Allura felt like a fool, of course she'd worried Nanny, probably Coran. Probably all the boys. She blushed and looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry, I was... I was caught up in myself. I don't...know what came over me."

Lance squeezed her hand, he was still holding it. "Hey, every now again everyone has the right to be selfish."

"Do I?" Allura asked him, looking up at him, suddenly feeling like all she has been since her birthday is selfish. About Keith, about being hurt, about everything and then she sat outside all night and forgot people would be worrying about her. She shook her head. "I think maybe I've over done it. It's slamming into me now. I've been awful."

"Allura, no?" Lance said. "You're human, and come on, you were just held captive. Had some things to work out out here right? And uh..." he cleared his throat, his hand let go of hers. It made her hand feel oddly empty. She stared at where their hands had been linked for a minute, while Lance seemed to have a slight coughing fit.

"Look, Allura," he said.

She looked up.

"I shouldn't have, I'm... I kissed you."

She blushed. "I remember."

"And you're probably upset, and pissed off..."

"No."

"So, I want...what?"

"I'm not upset or angry."

"Uh, oh...Huh?" He stammered, staring at her, then slammed his hands into his jacket pockets.

"I'm confused. I mean, why would you kiss me?"

"Why would I kiss you?" Lance repeated, and something in his tone told Allura he thought it was was dumb question.

She blushed. "I know I don't know much about kissing and things, but it I don't think that is such a dumb thing to ask, you don't have to make fun of me," she snapped, and started to walk, brushing by him toward the Castle.

Suddenly, she very much wanted to be inside.

"Allura," Lance called after her, she heard him behind her and then he caught her by the waist, his hand going to her hip, pulling her back as he turned himself around to face her. "That isn't what I was saying."

"Then what?"

"I don't...I...fuck. Allura, this...is...complica..I you know what screw it! There probably will never be a good time..." he muttered more to himself than to her. Then he went quiet, really quiet, staring at her a lot like the way he had in his lion after the rescue.

"Lanc..." she started to say but he interrupted her, a finger on her lips.

"I'm in love with you, I have been in love in love with you for so long I don't remember not being in love with you. I kissed you, Allura, because I love you."


	9. Chapter 9 Melodies and Moonshine

9. Melodies and Moonshine

Keith walked among the catacombs of the Castle, footsteps light on the ground, ears open in the haunting silence for any sounds listening for Allura's breathing, Allura's quiet mutterings. When she was upset she tended to mutter under her breath without realizing it, no one could really understand more than one or three words. Keith had always found it endearing. He clenched his fists thinking she had to be upset at Lance's line crossing.

How dare he kiss her, taint her innocence, how dare he... want her and not him, Keith thought without guilt and shame. He sighed and tried to tell himself he was upset for Allura. Lance had crossed a line, it was wrong to do that to her, to push his feelings on her - guilt smashed into him again like a sudden onslaught of rain. Keith had been pushing his feelings onto Lance off and on for years.

But Allura was different. Allura was royalty. Allura was a woman but she was also naive. She didn't know so many things. She believed in fairy tales and romantic movies with happily ever afters.

Life wasn't like that, especially here on Arus with a war on, with Lotor flying in and wanting to claim her as his own - it was like nails scrapping against his skin at the thought of that Drule touching her. He thought of Prince Chandler too and all the others like him. Welcomed by Nanny and Coran with open arms, because of a title.

He turned a corner, his anger all over the place. At himself, his own feelings for Lance making his reaction to Lance's recent actions feel selfish, and wrong. His protective feelings for Allura, his love for her fueling a want to be angry with Lance - which he was finding hard to do. Lance loved her but she was... Allura was better than them both.

She was the Princess. Though she was better than any Prince too, unless they were a true gentleman like Prince Holder. Only Holder was gay...

As he thought of Holder, Keith thought of his music. The beautiful bold chords with the soft haunting melody he'd heard the Prince working on before he was captured. He'd been hearing it since he entered the catacombs in fact, not the bold chords but the haunting softer cadence underneath them. He thought it was him, hearing it in his head to try calm himself to get a grip on his jealousy and protectiveness. He couldn't be both jealous of Allura and over protective of her afterall. One or the other had to give, didn't it?

He'd played the music over and over in his head in the cell on Doom, finding it comforting in a strange way, it had helped him focus, think. Holder had with his piece, as unfinished as he claimed it was spoken to something inside of Keith with it. There was a quiet calm to the haunting theme of it somehow Keith thought, Holder was immensely talented

Turning the corner made him realize the quiet hum of Holder's piece wasn't truly in his mind this time. It wasn't strings, or chords, it was a voice. His ears were hearing a voice, humming the softer underlying cadence of the piece. It was floating through the catacombs, echoing off the walls the underground caverns and walkways creating a beautiful echo chamber. Keith followed the sound and found Holder pacing a length of a empty cave, humming to himself back and forth. The man's back was to him and then he turned. Seeing Keith he blushed and stopped.

"Don't stop on my account. I, uh, I'm looking for Princess Allura."

Holder looked alarmed instantly. "The Princess is missing? What happened? There wasn't another attack, the two of you were only just rescued?"

"No, no attack. Allura never went to her room last night, Nanny sounded the alarm. I take it you haven't seen her?"

"No. Why would she be down here where it's so dark and damp?"

"She comes down here a lot to talk to her father, King Alfor. His spirit..." Keith ran a hand down his neck, hoping that didn't freak Prince Holder out. He didn't know how Lun dealt with the idea of the supernatural.

"King Alfor's spirit?" Holder repeated, eyes wide. "That is...strange?"

Keith laughed. "Scared us all the first time, thought I might fall to the floor my knees were shaking so much but had to be strong for the team."

Holder nodded. "On my planet we don't have ghosts except in ghost stories."

"Same on Earth, though some say otherwise."

"Yes, also on Lun."

"Why are you down here," Keith heard himself ask but he already knew. Holder had been humming, he'd been using the acoustics.

"Acoustics. I couldn't sleep...I was walking and found myself down here and the acoustics were too good to pass up. I'm still working on that melody."

"It's beautiful," Keith said.

"It's unfinished," Holder said blushing again.

Keith nodded and looked at his communicator. Someone really should have found her by now. "Team? Check in?" He said into it.

Hunk's voice came over the line first. "She isn't anywhere in the Castle Chief. Checked all the places she usually runs to, to hide from Nanny. No go."

"She's not in Blue Lion, nor anywhere by the lake either, Boss," Pidge said.

Keith stared at the communicator where the hell was Lance. "Lance check in?" he snapped, rolling his eyes a bit at Holder.

"Found her, we'll be in a bit," Lance said after another minute of silence.

"Bring her in now."

"Keith, in a bit!"

"Lance, I said now."

"Keith not now!" Lance snapped and the line when dead.

Keith stared at his communicator. Where had Lance gone looking? Right the gardens. "Uh, if you excuse me..." he mumbled to Holder turning around.

"Maybe you should leave them alone?" Holder said softly.

"What?"

Holder sighed. "I'm sorry, I realize it's not my place but you told me yourself, you hurt her... And he seems able to talk with her. Maybe he's the best person to help her with what had her up all night out of her room?"

Keith shook his head. "No, he's part of the problem this time. She was held captive and he took..." Keith closed his mouth. "I can't leave them alone, it's not wise."

Holder nodded. "Of course, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said..."

"No, no. It's okay... She and I worked through a things on Doom."

Holder shook his head. "I was worried. Scared for _you._..both."

Keith nodded, distracted. "Thank you, I really have to..."

"Yes, yes, of course, go."

Keith nodded. "Look, I...luck on your piece, it has really spoken me," he said before turning and walking off.

~~.~~

Keith scoured the gardens. He didn't find Lance or Allura anywhere. Lance didn't answer anymore attempts at communication. He had to stand in front of a screaming Nanny and pale Coran and ensure them that Allura had been found and was safe. He just didn't know where she and Lance had gone. She probably needed to talk and Lance was listening, he told them she was good hands, there was no one he trusted more.

There was noone trusted more.

Except.

Keith then ignored Hunk's worried looks at him and wandered out of the Castle himself, humming Holder's piece to himself without knowing it and he found himself pounding on the closed door of The Elemental.

Roderick opened the door, eyes bleary mouth open. "The sun has only been up for an hour ass...Keith?"

"I need to drink."

Roderick blinked a few times, but then widened the door. Keith walked in and couldn't help but notice that he was wearing nothing but a pair of a blue boxer briefs. Keith felt his face start to flame a bit but he couldn't turn back now. He'd walked here, he'd knocked and he'd been let in. He had to admit, Roderick could wear the hell out of those boxer briefs. Round ass, flat stomach...

Keith looked down at the floor to stop staring, though he thought idly he'd come here to distract himself, with booze but he wasn't as noble as some people ascribed to him. Roderick had always caught his eye.

"Lance's stuff?"

"No," Keith snapped, to hard probably.

Roderick blinked as he walked behind the bar, seemingly un-verklempt he was mostly naked in front of Keith. "Uh, okay, about my favorite hard liquor?"

Keith nodded, he didn't care, he just didn't want it be Lance's bourbon. Lance's anything. He didn't want think about Lance. Or Allura. Or anything. Roderick poured a clear liquid into a double shot glass as Keith slipped onto a stool.

"Want to talk about it?" Roderick asked.

"No." Keith said grabbing the glass and downing the shot. It burned harder than Lotor's lazon sword had across his chest down his throat. He nearly spat it out but hell if he'd do that in front of anyone. He swallowed hard, blinked back the tears threatening at his tear ducts. "What the fuck is that!"

Roderick laughed and shot back his own glass of it without batting an eyelash. "Aruisian Fire Lilly Moonshine."

"More," Keith said.

Roderick nodded.

More was about five shots, Roderick behind the bar matching him, throat muscles fascinating Keith more and more with every swallow. After shot number seven, Keith may have heard himself growl, he may have not but he moved forward. He was on the bar, his hands were on Roderick shoulders and his mouth was mouthing across Roderick jaw.

Roderick groaned and Keith heard a definite yes, either in the sound or it was the word and he was on the other side of the bar with him. The words, "Rick, fuck me," slurring out of him and Roderick was saying yes again and pulling Keith by his collar upstairs.

Keith pushed him against a wall when they reached the bedroom. His hands running over the bare muscles, the flat stomach, the bulge in those damn blue boxer briefs. Rick groaned his name, Keith grinned into the skin of his neck, biting a bit, thinking why hadn't he taken him on his interest before - he knew, how could he not know, he'd thought about it, a million times, had dreams, fantasies as he sat drinking but he never did because of Lance...

He growled, at himself, but he pushed Rick away who was pulling him out of his pants. "Bed, now," he said wanting to forget Lance, forget everything, forget Allura. Forget Lance and Allura.

He stripped himself naked, went to the bed and presented his ass in the air. Rick made a whimpering sound behind him, Keith turned taking in his full nakedness this time, though it was a bit blurry from the moonshine it was amazing. "Now," he barked. "And hard."

"Shit," Rick muttered as he stumbled onto the bed.

The rest of the morning was a sweaty tangle of friction and limps, then dark blissful dreamless sleep.

~~.~~

Knocking woke Keith, a feeling of deja vu washing over him, he tried to move but there was a heavy weight stopping him plus the movement caused stabbing pain to his head that he knew wasn't from his recent head wound. He blinked and blinked, his focus blurry and eventually the room around him came into focus and it was strange, new, he'd never been here before. He swallowed hard as he realized the weight on top him was a man, a man with a hard length of cock resting along side his own. He shifted a bit so he could look down his nose at him; Rick...Roderick...the bartender...The Elemental.

It came rushing back in bits and pieces. The boxer briefs, the anger at Lance. The protectiveness mixing with jealousy of Allura, the jealousy winning. His not being able to find them increasing it all...rushing here to just get drunk, to forget Lance...to try to forget Lance...

Giving in to his attraction to Rick, who was more than half naked and willing. So, willing. Blue eyes met his as he looked down, Rick groaned... "I want to ignore that, can't turn out half as well as the last time someone was pounding on that door..." he grinned.

Keith closed his eyes, memories rushing through of the sex. Good hard, amazing sex, Rick pounding into him... He hadn't been fucked like that since...no, he wouldn't go there. "Uh, yeah," he heard himself say, when a part of him was thinking he should be hurrying out of here, getting dressed, telling Rick this had been a mistake.

Rick grinned wider, his mouth against Keith's, making Keith well aware they hadn't kissed once during the whole morning and he found himself kissing Rick back, tasting the moonshine, and himself on the other man's tongue. He groaned into it, unsure if it was because he was turned on again or thinking, _Oh, what the hell have I fucking done._

The knocking continued. Rick sighed into Keith's mouth, then moved, getting off the bed. "That's my daily order of stuff, I have to go sign for it..." he grabbed a pair of jeans out of a drawer and pulled them on. Then walked out. Keith watched him, thinking he wish he could be so free...

_Weren't you just_, a voice said in his mind.

A minute after Rick left the room a buzzing came from somewhere on the floor. Keith realized it was his communicator. He groaned, got off the bed, his body ached, he wondered if he was going to be able to sit down it'd been so long... It'd been rough, he'd begged and demanded it to be he thought, remembering things in blurry batches.

Bending down for his communicator made his head spin, that moonshine was dangerous. "Keith."

"Where the fuck are you now?" Lance said.

Guilt rushed him and then he got angry. Why was he guilty, Lance didn't care who he fucked. "Oh, now you can talk? Where the fuck were you and Allura?"

"Long story, but uh, we need to talk...Keith," Lance sounded weird.

Keith groaned. "Fine. I'm not in the Castle, where can I find you."

"I'll wait in your room."

"Fine." Keith muttered.

Rick opened the door then his eyes drinking in Keith, he grinned. "I could get used to that..." he said and then he shook his head. "We could pretend I didn't say that..."

Keith heard himself say. "No, say it again," and he pushed away the part of him that said, stop this now, this isn't right...


	10. Chapter 10 Why

10. Why

Allura didn't sleep; she was thankful Lotor wasn't bound to attack so soon after the rescue - bastard was probably licking his wounds. Allura wondered if she was licking something...she blushed that sounded wrong in her head.

Lance loved her. No, she'd always known that. They all loved her. Pidge, Hunk, Sven, Keith and Lance. Lance was _in love with her_. Lance. _Lance_. _Lance!_ She'd been spinning a fantasy about her and Keith in her head, not knowing or understanding it could never be true and Lance was the one falling for her?

He wasn't romantic.

He wasn't an idealist.

Lance didn't have a fantasy of her in his head, if he loved her, he meant it. Lance didn't say things he didn't mean. He didn't act on things without having reasons...Good or bad. She hugged her knees, sitting on her bed. She didn't know how to process it. How to feel about it. She didn't know what to think at all...

Lance has a past with Keith she thought a stab of hurt rising. Keith who she wanted to touch, Lance has touched. Lance has had so many people...and of them all Keith who is so amazing and he wants her above him?

A deep blush flamed her cheeks, images coming to her unbidden of the two them, visuals from the romance novels she's read replacing herself with Keith, the man now Lance. She feels a bit ashamed, a bit dirty, a bit aroused. She turned around, falling flat on her bed on her stomach, hiding her face in her pillow as if someone would stop by and see her blushing.

When he'd told her she'd been stunned into complete silence, and the next thing she remembered was a sense of falling and darkness. She woke up here in her room...She must have fainted. Allura punched the pillows. The first time a man declares his love for her and she faints like some idiot child.

But it was so surprising. _It is so surprising_. How can she look at Lance now? How should she act around him? Can she still talk to him the way she always has, open and blunt knowing he'll never treat her like a 'Princess' but like a girl...

Something rolls through her at the thought, a shiver, flip in her stomach, a sensation she doesn't understand - it's a lot like what happened when he kissed her. And now she knows why he did that; he was terrified when she was caught, afraid she was dead, and his emotions spilled over before his brain could catch up.

She knew the feeling, it'd happened to her so often with Keith. Though she never would have dared touch him, kiss him... Maybe if she had she would be over his lies completely by now because she would have been told sooner.

Her first kiss. Her first declaration love. Not who she pictured, not who she dreamed. But... She touches her lips. It was Lance and something in her doesn't hate it. It's that which confuses her because she's not over Keith. Can't stop thinking about Keith...

Knows she's forgiven him, will work on the forgetting so they can be friends again, can walk and talk. So he can help her and she can help him with their burdens. So they can laugh and have fun. Be best friends.

But Lance is her other best friend and how is she supposed to be around him now? She's confused. So confused. She's tired of being confused.

~~.~~

Allura pushed the fish on her plate around. Her gaze out on the view of the star filled horizon that her sight-line on the balcony where she and Prince Holder were having their 'romantic' dinner. Hunk was sitting at a table in the corner, on his datapad messaging away with someone. Allura could feel his eyes on her now and again, measuring her mood. She was being horrible company for Prince Holder, yet she couldn't get herself to force passed all her emotions and fake a more normal mood. Every time she tried the idea of the fake mood and it's words died on her tongue before they could form into spoken sounds.

Prince Holder sipped his wine, he'd been quiet after a few attempts to start a conversation. His own gaze on the starts... Idly Allura wondered if he was seeing them. She knew she was looking at them but she wasn't truly seeing them. Her mind was elsewhere, it was where Keith was...it was where Lance was...

It was with the fact that she was avoiding Lance, and she thinks he's avoiding her. It was on the fact when she did see Keith that he seemed angry with Lance and was acting so strangely... jumpy and odd. Like he'd done something wrong...and he wouldn't tell Allura what it was.

They weren't back to normal at all. Would they ever be? Her and Keith? Did they have to work to earn a new normal? And her and Lance? She stabbed a piece of fish with her fork, brought it to her mouth but she couldn't bring herself to eat it.

"Princess Allura, you do not have to continue to put up with these pretenses on my account," Prince Holder said from across the table, softly.

"I...my guardians aren't giving me much choice," Allura said, distracted by her own thoughts because as soon as she hears what she said she startles. "I mean... I'm sorry, Prince Holder. I much rather be here with you than with..."

"Prince Chandler is not good company for anyone but himself, no," Prince Holder nodded.

Hunk giggled in the corner. Allura smiled at the handsome Prince across from her, feeling rude and ashamed for being so lost in her own thoughts. He was her guest, maybe not by choice but she did enjoy his company and she has enjoyed his conversation.

"I'm sorry Prince Holder, you were brought here at a..."

"Bad time. Yes," he said, nodding. "It seems to not be getting better?"

Allura sighed. "Things have gotten more confusing rather than less," she admitted. "I... Keith and I are best friends, something happened that made me upset... I've forgiven him but things are still strained. The one time I managed to see him today he acted so strangely." Allura ducked her head, shaking it. "I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

"No, no, it's quite all right. Sometimes we need someone to talk too, someone who isn't in our circle of friends..." Holder said, quietly.

Allura sighed, she wasn't sure about that, she didn't like to gossip. Her friends were her family, she glanced over at Hunk but he seemed focused on whoever it was he was talking to on the datapad. She wondered who it was? He had a strange expression on his face, it seemed he wasn't even hearing her and Holder, had his giggle been just good timing and about something else? She wouldn't know until later, she smiled a bit, curious, happy that maybe someone in her family had good news to share. She looked back toward to Prince Holder.

"I don't know... They're my friends and in some ways my family, it's why some of it is so complicated..." She said, thinking about her crush on Keith, how she wanted to build a family with him not be his sister... Thinking about what Lance had blindsided her with...and finding herself asking the question was Lance her brother like Hunk? Like Pidge? Why did she have to ask the question? Why didn't she have an answer?

Holder nodded. "Whatever it is Princess, family will always come through in the end."

"I hope so," she tried to smile. "I'm afraid I'm not hungry."

"Would you like to take a walk then?" Holder asked.

Allura nodded. "Yes, I don't feel like sitting still at all."

Holder rose and helped her out of her chair, gentlemanly, Allura soon had her arm linked with him and then they were both looking at Hunk, who was sitting and typing. Allura had to grin, he was really focused on whoever it was on the only end. She cleared her throat.

Hunk looked up, goofy grin on his face that he tries to school immediately into a more chaperone-like expression when he sees the two of them standing in front of him. "Yes, Princess?" he stands up, glances at their full plates. "Uh, date over?"

"No, we decided to take a walk,' Allura said feeling a sudden gratitude to Hunk for being Hunk because she had an urge to giggle. She was counting to five in her head, waiting for him to say something about the food they didn't eat.

"But you don't even have food to walk off...what was wrong with your dinners? My fish was great?" He looked at his empty plate.

Allura giggled, pounced on Hunk then, hugging him and kissing his cheek. He blushed beet red and squawked, "Princess!" She giggled more into his ear. "I'm just glad you are you, I just have too much on my mind to eat and I think Prince Holder is being a gentleman and not eating with me."

Hunk shook his head, Allura knew he hadn't understand a word she had said. It made her love her big brother Hunk even more. "You know you don't have to stay, you can trust Prince Holder...why don't you go to your room?"

The datapad in his hand beeped.

Hunk looked down at it, then at her and Prince Holder. "Coran and Nanny would kill me, Princess..."

"What they don't know won't hurt them..." Allura smiled. "You have something else you rather be doing," she looked at the datapad.

Hunk blushed even more than he had when she kissed him. "Uh, nah, no...just uh talking with...it's nothing."

"Please, I hate making you guys chaperone me when I'm perfectly safe. Prince Holder is not Prince Chandler."

Hunk nodded. "Yeah," Allura watched him look from the beeping datapad to Prince Holder than to her. "Okay, but... Prince Holder?"

"Yes."

"She has to be in her bedroom, by 11 p.m. sharp, with you nowhere in sight or Nanny will have a fit and I'll get my ears boxed." Hunk rubbed his left ear with his free hand as he spoke. "So, just, you know, make sure you do that...okay."

"I will, I can most certainly attest that whatever this ear boxing is by Princess Allura's nanny it could not be pleasant."

Hunk nodded profusely. "It ain't, let me tell you that! Off with you two," Hunk then walked over to the main table and grabbed Allura's left overs. "Ain't letting this go to waste either, Princess."

Allura grinned as she watched him walk out with the food, feeling so much better all because Hunk had been who he was... It really was the little things she thought watching him leave. Holder laughed quietly next to her and she looked over smiling.

"He cheered you up, are you sure you want him gone."

"It seemed like he much rather be with whoever was on the other end of the datapad..." Allura shrugged. "And I know I'm safe with you."

Prince Holder nodded but he grew serious. "Princess, I am sorry for how you found out you are safe with me?"

Allura sighed, thinking back on that moment. "I should apologize to you for that... I behaved awfully, screeching and running away like a child. I...it was so soon after learning about Keith, something I should have known a long time ago."

Holder nodded.

Allura nodded back then motioned her head toward the door that lead to the gardens. "Let's walk."

They walked in silence for few minutes, Allura thinking about how she knew she was safe with Prince Holder. For more than one reason. She was safe with him because he was a true gentleman. He was like Keith in so many ways, he was noble, he was polite, he was tactful and he seemed to always know how to behave in the right manner no matter the situation...

He'd only had that one slip of human reaction that showed who he was on the inside, his inside self she may never have learned during his visit otherwise because it never would have mattered to their relationship. Except that she'd been thinking of settling for him...She shook her head no at the thought, what had she been thinking, she could never settle for less than real love.

She was curious about something now... And Prince Holder was so much like Keith, so much like her fantasy knight in shining armor, right down to the reason why he wouldn't be the Prince she'd end with happily ever after.

"May I ask you a very personal question?" she stammered out, knowing she was crossing quite a line of a propriety and decorum.

Prince Holder met her gaze and nodded, no hesitation whatsoever. It added to her admiration of him as a person, a Prince.

"How..I mean, when did..." she tripped over the words finding she didn't know how to phrase the question. "How did you know you were gay?"

Prince Holder chuckled and Allura saw his real smile for the first time, it was quite handsome. She found herself wondering again if all the truly good men were gay? He pulled her toward a bench they were near and they both sat down.

"When did you know you weren't gay?" he asked her.

Allura's eyes widened and something lit in her mind, sparking a cascade of comprehension. It wasn't something you figured out it was something that was. Of course it was, why would it be any different? Why would she even think it was any different for a second?

"Forgive me, it was a silly question."

"No, it wasn't. Many who are not, ask. It is still not seen as equal to heterosexuality on my planet, on yours... maybe not on your Commander Kogane's."

Allura shook her head. "I don't know. I know he's been out for a long time, I was the only one he lied too... for various complicated reasons. Lance has always been openly bisexual..." she rolled her eyes. "I never thought once to question why there."

Prince Holder smiled. "Perhaps it is his ability to be so open."

Allura thought about his face when he told he was in love with her, how he'd been in love with her. He'd been hiding it, keeping it to himself. Why? Because Prince Holder was right, Lance was open? Always so open, straight forward, blunt... No surprises on how he felt, except the last few days.

Yet she'd never doubted Lance loved her, immensely. Had she always just misunderstood the how?


End file.
